2010: Begin Again - Speed of Trust

“If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself.” – Bob Dylan, Trust Yourself

I think that any success in life has its roots in trust. Trust in others, trust in organizations, and trust in yourself. Trust in yourself is the most important as far as I’m concerned, so right on Mr. Dylan.

In the last couple of days, my life has seen a convergence of elements that all seem to speak to trust. The first, and most publicly obvious, was the Wednesday morning presentation by Stephen M. R. Covey to the employees and students of Lethbridge College.

Covey popped by the college for part of what had to be a very busy 48 hours for him; a presentation Tuesday night to college supporters, one at a Wednesday morning breakfast seminar for local business people, then a wrap up session at the college. Kudos to Mr. Covey for energy! And kudos for a great message, too.

He was sharing concepts from his book, The Speed of Trust – The One Thing that Changes Everything. If you don’t have the book, you might want to get a copy. Well, I guess only if you have contact in some fashion with other human beings. If you don’t, I wouldn’t worry about it.

There was a ton of information in Covey’s presentation and even more in the book. Essentially, he makes the case for trust being about much more than just a social virtue. It’s not just a warm, fuzzy feeling we can have for each other. Covey talks about three big ideas:

1. Trust is an economic driver, not merely a social virtue.
2. Trust is the #1 competency of leadership needed today.
3. Trust is a learnable skill.

Trust has an enormous impact on society. Right now, trust in business is at an all-time low. Gee, I wonder why? Just take a look at the last couple of years and what’s been happening in big business. (Sidenote: That’s one reason why you should be considering a small business of your own in this economy!)

Organizations, businesses and government are all lacking a trust factor. And the costs can be huge. Investing in building honest trust, not something manipulative as demonstrated by those who talk it, but don’t really walk it, is vital for economic recovery.

As a quick example, Covey talks about a Trust Tax and a Trust Dividend. The tax shows when trust is down in a company. Speed or production follows it down while resulting costs can spiral up. The dividend shows when the opposite happens. An increase in trust sees a rise in speed and a decrease in cost. Companies that fail to invest in their people and in building trust in them ultimately pay a cost. A lack of trust can be a prime motivator for your top people to bail on your company and go elsewhere.

Character and Competence

The two sides of trust are character and competence. If both aren’t present in some balance, there will be a lack to trust. Think of people you know or work situations you have experienced. Almost all of us can think of people who’ve had good character, but lacked competence. They can be likable, fun to be around, great people to know. But if they lack competence, trust in them will falter.

Something I’ve seen more of over the years is the opposite – people with competence, but no character. Oh, they know what they’re doing, but they don’t show any real empathy for others. People don’t matter to them. Perhaps they see people as pawns to be used to reach a goal. Sometimes they’ll say or do the right things, but even then it’s more manipulative than sincere. They actually think only of themselves and what they want. Try to have trust in that scenario.

The Five Waves of Trust

The last thing I’ll share from Covey’s presentation is the flow of trust. Covey talked about the Five Waves of Trust. The visual is a drop of water falling into pool and causing ripples to flow out. Each ripple represents another level in the flow of trust. The Five Waves are:

1. Self trust. (See, Bob Dylan and I are on the save wave-length!)
2. Relationship trust. Your trust in others grows. You begin to form ‘trust accounts.’
3. Organizational trust. This starts to examine how leadership can create trust in different organizations.
4. Market trust. Earlier ripples start to build and reputation becomes strong. It’s your organization’s brand . . . and your own personal brand. People are now trusting it.
5. Societal trust. By this point, we are giving our earned trust back to others and, in a way, coming full circle as our growing trust of others inspires greater self trust and begins the wave all over again.

I have not done Stephen Covey justice with this brief review. If you are in business, whether a traditional retail or self-employed in a home business, or if you are employed by someone else, building an open and honest trust in your relationships among those with whom you interact is a vital key to success. Get the book and see how you can improve your trust factor.

Photo: Stephen M. R. Covey

Next in 2010: Begin Again

I’ll take a look at the second of the converging elements affecting my thoughts right now – The Quest: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery, Chapter 19 – Law of Mind Action and how I believe what we think impacts the very first step in the Five Waves of Trust.

2010: Begin Again . . . Again!

Five months. That’s all that’s left in 2010. The year is more than half over. And I’m starting August with a nice, big serving of humble pie! Hmmm, hmmm good.

Why humble pie? Well, first it’s low in calories and has no fat!

Also because I’m nowhere near where I want to be by the time 2011 rolls around. If you’ve read this blog in the past, you may remember that back in January I said “this year I don’t want a resolution; I want a REVOLUTION!”

I also said, “I have no expectation of immediate wholesale change. But step-by-step I will move in a new direction with an understanding that at the end of this year I will be a better person.”

Baby steps have been the order of the day so far! Now it’s time to start taking giant steps and wrap up the year on a high note. I’m going to sharing a lot in the days, weeks and months ahead. But here’s a quick overview of the Revolution so far.

Spirituality: Wow! What a year so far. I’ve read many books, checked out a lot of things online and I have grown. I’m working through Unity Church’s Quest series with a friend of mine. It challenges me to think about spirit in new ways, and that’s great. My personal beliefs have evolved and will likely continue to do so. Right now, I think it’s best if I describe myself as a secular humanist. It seems to come closest to describing where my mind is at.

I’ve also committed to attending the Unitarian-Universalist Fellowship in Lethbridge. I had attended for several months, then took a break for several months to process things. Now I’m back. In fact, I’m speaking at the first service after the summer break! That’ll be Sept. 12 and you’re invited to attend if you wish. More on that later!

Most importantly, I’ve come to realize that life is more rewarding with friendships and family. (I think I’ll have another serving of humble pie right about now. Good thing it’s fat-free.) I have been negligent in maintaining, building and fostering friendships and for that I am truly sorry.

While material wealth is nice, our real riches are found in friendships and families. I’ve let many such riches slip through my fingers over the years. Growing up in a military family, combined with my personality type, is part of the reason for my neglect. It’s easy to reach a point where you stop working on friendships. For me, grades 1-3 were in one school, grade 4 in another, 5 and 6 in another, 7 in another, 8 in another, 9-11 in another and finally 12 in yet another. Different schools in different towns and even in different countries. Letting relationships slide can become habit forming.

But revolution can break habits and create new patterns of behaviour. So I plan to connect and reconnect with friends old and new. Fortunately, I’ve come across a very cool and personalized way to do that! I’ll be sharing more about that in the near future.

Health: Well, this is one area that still needs a lot of work. I have a goal weight in mind for the end of the year, but I’ve done little to reach it. My weight has gone down, then back up. Now I need to focus. I carry most of the extra pounds around my middle . . . the worst place to store fat. It tends to lead to greater risk of heart problems. So corrected that will be high on the list for the next five months.

Finances. Right now, they’re still not what I want. But I’m putting a plan into action to start moving in the right direction. More on that to come.

Basically, there’s been a great deal of research and reading leading up to now . . . the time to implement. It’s never to late to begin again. If things aren’t going quite as you’d like, you’re invited to join me and still make it 2010: Begin Again.

Photo: New emphasis on family . . . me choking my eldest son, Devon, at my Aunt Betty's place after the Magrath parade on July 24.

2010: Begin Again - Dream Weaver and Litter Things

Dream Weaver
The fulfillment of your dreams is necessary for the well-being of the whole of humanity. The Divine expresses itself through you and your life. Are you living up to your potential or selling yourself short. And, in so doing, adversely affecting all that is. It’s something I struggle with.

I do believe in a spiritual side of life. In fact, I think we are spirit experiencing the physical reality of the universe. Who and what we are is something humanity has pondered for thousands of years. Seems we still don’t have a definitive answer that suits everyone, and we never will.

God, Allah, Shiva, Jehovah, The Light, One Mind, Divine Spirit, Krishna, Shen, Gaia; they are all expressions of our efforts to understand our place in the universe. For me, I tend to follow New Thought principles, not to be confused with New Age. Forget the crystals; you are connected right to the Divine.

Even knowing this, that we are connected through and with spirit, I still struggle with things that are all too human. Not recognizing the Divine in others is a big thing with me. Certain people and the way they act get under my skin and I react without thinking. Not good. And it’s got me into trouble at times.

But I know I can live up to potential and I like the teaching that individual dreams are important to the All. Here’s a great talk about pursuing your dreams.


It’s the Litter Things that Bug Me!
Thank your lucky stars, God in Heaven or own version of the Divine that I’m not in charge of everything. If I were there’d be some changes made. I can’t stand people who litter.

Someone who has such little consideration for others that they’d just throw their trash around is offensive to me. Even with the big interest in being ‘green’ right now, there still seems to be a lot of people who just don’t give a damn. When I walk Max, I often end up picking up the trash left behind by others. Today it was a paper cup from someone’s coffee. Really, how much effort does it take to carry it with you along the path until you hit the next trash container?

Want to help clean up the planet? Here’s what I’d do if I was in charge (and that’s not likely to happen, so relax, you’re safe).

The minimum fine for littering would instantly increase to $1,000 for the smallest infraction. Drop a coffee cup - $1,000 fine. Leave a candy bar wrapping in the grass - $1,000 fine. Toss a cigarette butt on the ground - $1,000 fine. You can be a slob in your house, but not where others have to tolerate your disgusting lack of manners.

The fine would be payable immediately, or as $500 in each of two successive months. Can’t afford it? Fine. Here’s your options:
1. Authorities will garnishee your wages until the fine is paid.
2. Fulfill 100 hours of supervised community work instead of the fine. This works out to a value of $10 per hour. Hopefully, you’ll spend it in a supervised crew cleaning up parks and roadsides.
3. Serve your time in jail and have a record.

If it’s kids doing the littering, parents are given two warnings. The third time, they are responsible for the kid’s fine, or allowing the kid to work 100 hours of community service.

Yeah, I know. It’s unrealistic and some would say too harsh. But you better believe there would be a decrease in littering and parents may take more responsibility for bringing their kids up right.

Photos: Just me and my shadow - gone over to the dark side! Max waits for me to snap a shot. Ice fishing . . . I don't the attraction. Creek behind the pool the west side - full of snow and a long way from spring!

The Long Way Home

Six months.

It's been six months since I wrote for this blog. That's awful. But that's also life.

Those of you who are close friends know that half of that time was spent away from work. Yes, I took a three-month stress leave. I never thought I'd be someone who would need to do that, but when extremely negative thoughts about self start to become the order of the day and a counsellor and doctor both tell you your health is at risk if you don't take a break . . . you take a break!

So there were three months when I was essentially incommunicado. I saw my doctor. I saw my counsellor. Occasionally I met with friends for coffee or lunch. Thank to those individuals. You'll never know how much you helped by keeping me grounded and challenging me to think about life. During this time I also met someone who has had a great impact on my life. Pat Varley is a retired nurse, spiritual director and wonderful human being. Her role in helping me get back on my feet cannot be understated.

During the past six months, I've gone through some lows and some highs. Right now, I'm feeling more positive about life than I have for a long time. I've started feeding my spirit again, finding a home in Unity. There isn't a Unity fellowship in Lethbridge . . . yet. But I've made vital contacts online and in Calgary.

I have also examined what I'd really like to accomplish in life. My passion is really to help others see the potential life can hold for them. I guess having gone through some mental stuff myself, I want to follow a path that will allow me to step into the life journey of others and share some ideas and concepts that can help make a difference to them. Watch for that tendency to start showing up in this blog.

Oh, I haven't forgotten the intent to share the ups and downs of life. Heck, I just shared about a three-month stress leave. Mentally, I'm feeling great. Physically, I need to work at some things. I have shed a couple of pounds, but there are a lot more to go. I've purchased some great shoes for walking and a pedometer to provide some record of achievement . . . if I can figure out how to make it work!

But it's all good.

The Spirit Within

Spirituality has become an important part of my life in the last few years.

I don't mean religion. That's essentially a battery of man-made traditions couched in a veneer of institutionally dictated series of beliefs. It is a self-limiting pretense at understanding God usually based on an extremely narrow perspective.

Most organized religions keep God locked up in a box of their own creation. Then they play the "my God's better than yours" game that leads to anger, hostility and bitter resentment. Until we free God from our chains of limitation, I don't believe we can ever really understand the essence of God.

Recently I have had the opportunity to engage in some conversation about spirituality with someone who is pretty special. This person is intelligent, articulate and always makes me think. They indicated to me a degree of frustration with the whole concept of God, Christianity, the Bible and what it means to be spiritual. And I could sympathize. This person has a warm and caring heart and I believe wants to be connected to something bigger than self.

Don’t we all?

I believe that everyone is on a spiritual journey whether they accept it or not. Some people will agree and some will disagree. That doesn't matter. The truth is some of those who agree still aren't really doing anything about it.

My friend's frustrations address a real challenge in our society. Often any talk of the spiritual nature of life ends up tainted by societal concepts based on a culturally historic link to Judeo-Christian beliefs. When we have been surrounded all our lives by a traditional understanding of God as being the all-powerful spirit being of the Bible, our Holy Father in Heaven, a thing to be both feared and loved, breaking free from those thoughts can be difficult and leave us wondering, if not this picture of God, then what?

What indeed?

Suffice it to say we now live in a society shaped largely through beliefs fostered by a Bible that was essentially created by a group of bishops who decided what stories to include and what to leave out during a period of history in which political upheaval was a real possibility and a way to placate and control the people was desired. Does that sound like a reliable reference upon which to base a modern concept of God?

For those with a vision filtered through beliefs tied to such a system, of course it does. Those who can be open and live beyond the scope of ancient perceptions may start to see God outside the confines imposed by humanity.

I don’t believe there is a god, but I believe that God is all there is. By opening our minds and hearts to the fact that our limiting beliefs cannot contain God, we allow the reality of spirit to embrace us. We are not separate from God for God is not an individual being. God is found within us and we are within God. If you really want to see God, go look in the mirror. God lives through the creative energies that shape this universe and exist in every part of it, including us.

Faiths that claim a monopoly on God are shaped by a limited vision that adheres to concepts forged on anvils of ignorance. The challenge that arises for some of us comes when we think beyond that box in which many organized religions would keep us contained.

Jesus is quoted as saying ‘you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32) Coming to the realization that much of what is preached as the truth in most churches today is in reality concepts shaped by the minds of men and not Spirit can be a harsh awakening. Many who turn away from church end up turning away from the beauty of living a spiritual life because they associate God with religion. But God actually has very little to do with religion.

The truth can make you free if you can grasp the idea of God beyond the church.

Recently I came across a website that comes very close to what I have come to accept as my understanding of God. Check out www.spiritualatheism.org. It references the idea of ‘Spiritual Atheism.’ That would seem to be a combination of two contrary concepts. In reality, it makes perfect sense. As the website notes:

“Although Spiritual Atheists do not believe in a literal 'God'; they generally recognize 'God' as an important and powerful symbol of the inter-connectedness and one-ness of the Universe. They see that, individually, everything in the Universe is a part of 'God'; and, collectively, everything in the Universe is 'God'. And that there is only ONE 'God'.

"Even so, many Spiritual Atheists are extremely reluctant to make use of the word 'God', due to the extreme desecration it has suffered by common Theists and Atheists alike.”

For me, the truth is I can walk away from churches that place their perceptual limitations on God. I can start to find the peace that comes from accepting and understanding that the true spiritual journey does not have to follow one specific path. And I can reclaim the very word ‘God’ from those who desecrate the concept, whether they are theists or atheists.

To my friend and any others who may read this, you are a child of the universe. Do not let the limitations others impose on God keep you from the spirit you feel within.

Peace, love and light.