2010: Begin Again - The reason for the season

This week I received a Christmas message in my email. I appreciate receiving seasonal greetings and I do really love this time of year. However, this particular message hit a raw nerve. 

The problem was the tone and the topic. It was basically one of those "Jesus is the reason for the season" messages. Some years ago, I must confess I believed the same thing. Since then, I have come to know the truth and the truth has set me free. Yes, I am no longer a Christian. Now I am a happy heathen! 

That being said, I still like to respect the rights of others to worship and have faith as they see fit. Unfortunately, there is a certain element in the Christian church that does not share this approach. And that brings me to the message I received.

It contained multiple photos of some very lovely Christmas trees. Before each image the message proclaimed:

This is a Christmas Tree
 
Scrolling down through the message, this was repeated numerous times. After the last photo came the following message:

These are NOT  Holiday Trees

They are NOT Winter Festival trees

They are NOT Hanukkah bushes


They are NOT Allah plants

They are Christmas trees.
Say it...
Christmas , Christmas , CHRISTmas

Yes CHRISTmas -not Holiday

We are not celebrating the birth of a Holiday !!!


We are Celebrating the Birth of
Jesus Christ!!!
So I would like to say to each and everyone of you
Have a Very Merry CHRISTMAS
and may GOD BLESS each and every one of you!!!

Take a stand and pass this on !!

I was grateful for the last statement - take a stand - as after reading the message I really felt like it was time to do just that. And so I did. Below is my response. 


WARNING: If your faith is easily offended you may wish to stop reading now. While I am no longer a Christian, I do have respect for those of the faith who are open minded and intelligent enough to realize that their perspective on spirituality is but one view. What irritates me are those individuals of any faith who believe their path is the ONLY path and who have so little understanding of other beliefs that they don't even realize some of the things they practice have origins outside of their church. And now, the message:

Enough is enough with this fundamentalist Christian propaganda. It’s time Christians faced the truth. It IS a holiday season. It was so long before the invention of Christianity. In fact, many of the ‘Christian’ celebrations at this time of the year were stolen from more ancient beliefs.

 

Shall we get down to the truth?

 

First, the Christmas tree, as that is the focus of this little misguided diatribe. The “Christmas” tree actually evolved from a pagan symbol used by cultures that predate Christianity. The Druids in ancient England & Gaul and the Romans in Europe both used evergreen branches to decorate their homes and public buildings to celebrate the Winter Solstice. Over the years, these traditions were adopted by Christians, who incorporated them as part of their Christmas holiday celebration.

 

So, we should actually call it a Solstice tree.

 

Furthermore, Christmas as a celebration of the birth of Jesus, is really just the result of the early Christian church attempting to convert non-believers by usurping festivities that existed long before the supposed arrival of a savior. There were a bunch of festivities (holidays) already taking place at that time of year. Rather than fight them, the church decided to declare that this is when Jesus was born so the festivities would take on a Christian veneer. In effect, the early church tried to steal the traditions of others. 

Show me where the Bible gives the birth date of Jesus and declares "And on the 25th day of the 12th month, thou shalt honour the birth of thy saviour." Early Christians did not celebrate Christmas, they honoured Easter. 

So, who first celebrated this time of the year? Many people. All predating Christianity.

• In Scandinavia, the Norse celebrated Yule from December 21, the winter solstice, through January. In recognition of the return of the sun, fathers and sons would bring home large logs, which they would set on fire. The people would feast until the log burned out, which could take as many as 12 days. The Norse believed that each spark from the fire represented a new pig or calf that would be born during the coming year. So “Yuletide carols being sung by a choir” really has nothing to do with Christmas. Yule is an old Norse tradition. And they didn’t worship Jesus. They looked to Odin and a host of other gods.

• Germans were terrified of Odin, as they believed he made nocturnal flights through the sky to observe his people, and then decide who would prosper or perish. Because of his presence, many people chose to stay inside. Hmmm. A magical being who travels through the sky watching people to see who has been bad or good, so you better be good for goodness sake! Sound familiar?

• In Rome, Saturnalia—a holiday in honour of Saturn, the god of agriculture—was celebrated. Beginning in the week leading up to the winter solstice and continuing for a full month, Saturnalia was a hedonistic time, when food and drink were plentiful and the normal Roman social order was turned upside down. For a month, slaves would become masters. Peasants were in command of the city. Business and schools were closed so that everyone could join in the fun.

• Members of Rome’s upper classes often celebrated the birthday of Mithra, the god of the unconquerable sun, on December 25. It was believed that Mithra was born in cave to a virgin. He was considered one part of a divine trinity. For some Romans, Mithra’s birthday was the most sacred day of the year. Does any of this sound familiar?

• In the early years of Christianity, Easter was the main holiday; the birth of Jesus was not even celebrated.

• Giving gifts at Christmas also has nothing to do with “Three Wise Men” or gifts for the Baby Jesus. The tradition, again, began in northern Europe and ancient Rome where people gave each other small presents as part of the year-end festivities.

• Wreaths, so popular at Christmas, have their beginnings among the folk practices of the pre-Christian Germanic people. During the cold December darkness of Easter Europe, they would gather wreaths of evergreen and lighted fires as signs of hope in a coming spring and renewed light.

• Mistletoe . . . so festive, so much a part of Christmas. Right. Mistletoe was held sacred by the Norse, the Celtic Druids and the North America’s First Nations peoples. Druid priests employed it in their sacrifice to the gods while Celtic people believed it possessed miraculous healing powers. It was the sacred plant of Frigga, the Norse goddess of love.

• Holly, the sacred plant of the god Saturn, was used at the Roman Saturnalia festival to honour him. Druids believed that holly stayed green to keep the earth beautiful when the sacred oak lost its leaves.

Enough, already, of the “Jesus is the reason for the season” mentality. Get over it people! It’s a festive holiday season that originated out of older traditions more in touch with the Earth. And if you are really one of those who believes the Bible is the literal word of God, I share this written by one of your own: Jesus is Lord.

You want to say ‘Merry Christmas?’ Fine. I do, too.

If someone else wants to say Happy Yule, that’s cool. 

If I want it to be a Solstice Tree, let me! 

Just don’t steal another culture’s traditions then try to denigrate their beliefs by claiming it’s a ‘CHRIST-mas’ tree and everyone else should bow down to a skewed Christian perspective of reality.

 

Heathen’s Greetings, one and all!

2010: Begin Again - Random Observations from a Busy Week

Giving you the finger . . . advice

My philosophy occasionally embraces the odd and unusual outlook on life. With that in mind, the following statement should not strike you as being bizarre.

You should look after your fingers when you are young.

Well, you should look after your fingers whatever age you may be, but particularly when you are young. No, I’m not talking about manicures and nail polish! Although a nice manicure is good at any time. I mean take care to prevent damage to your fingers.

Take me for example. I’ve got 10 fingers, just like most people. When I was in my teens and early 20s, I had one damaged when my dog accidentally bit through it. I broke another playing softball. I smashed another when I dropped an irrigation pipe on it while helping my uncle move the system. And I put a drill bit through another while working on my boogie van. Something you may recall if you heard my most recent speech at Toastmasters.

The damage to those fingers started coming back to haunt me early in adulthood. Now I’m 53 and I’m still paying the price for youthful indiscretions. When the temperature plummets to –20C (-4F) and I have to be outside shoveling snow – yet again – the tips of the most severely damaged fingers really feel the cold. By that I mean they practically freeze and become painful while the other fingers are still functioning. I’m assuming blood circulation problems to the extreme ends are to blame. And those problems originated through one of the scenarios outlined above.

So if you ever see me seeming to flip you the bird, chill out! It’s just a frozen fingercicle and not an insult.

Of buffets and bellies

On Saturday my mother-in-law, likely the most wonderful mother-in-law in the world, treated Lynda and I to lunch at a local Chinese restaurant that offers a pretty tasty buffet.

Mixing Chinese food with an ‘all-you-can-eat’ serving concept isn’t always a good thing for me. In fact, I will often fall victim to the ‘eyes-are-bigger-than-the-belly’ phenomenon. Too much food gets loaded on the plate because the visual senses are over-stimulated and chowing it all down becomes a major undertaking.

While taking a breather, I looked around the restaurant. Holy side of beef! Most of the people there were huge! And I don’t mean they were tall.

There were at least four guys there in their late 30s and up with ginormous bellies that sagged down over their belts. Each looked like he’d tip the scales at close to 300 lbs. Each had more food piled up on a single plate than the average person could squeeze onto a serving platter. The guys weren’t alone, but I won’t talk about the women for fear of being branded a sexist!

I don’t mention this to mock or ridicule anyone. For me, it was a moment of self-reflection.

I struggle with food. No, let me take that back. It’s not a struggle at all! I eat more than I should without any problem at all. I imagine there are all sorts of psychological reasons for that. There is an emptiness I am trying to fill. It’s how I deal with stress. That sort of thing.

Of course, it could simply be that I love the stimulation of my sense of taste!

However I wish to rationalize it, the truth is I need to drop about 20lbs. Seeing the outcome of uncontrolled or extremely poor eating habits demonstrated by the bellies at the buffet was like being slapped in the face with a pound of lard.

I can avoid the belt-buckle avalanche by committing to awareness dining. Watch what I take in and stop when full. Don’t let those demanding little taste buds push me around!

West Lethbridge going to the dogs

Our dog Max is about 10 years old now. We got him when he was about 18 months old. We were his third family and while it looked shaky at first, we became is permanent family.

One spring day about 10 months or so after we acquired Max, I had him out at the off-leash area in West Lethbridge’s Popson Park. This area is home to a few prairie rattlesnakes and despite the warning signs I’ve never been fortunate enough to see one there. Owners are warned to watch for them as they can pose a danger to pets.

There should have a been a warning about porcupines! That morning, while running along the river bank, Max was a ways ahead of me when he stopped and suddenly stuck his face into some bushes. He yelped and jumped back with a face full of quills. I rushed him back to the car and quickly drove home.

It was a Sunday. We were also very short of cash. And we didn’t have a regular vet at that point. We called three or four different vet clinics and explained the situation. When we noted that finances were a challenge, our calls for help were quickly shut down. It was beginning to look like someone would have to sit on Max and I’d need to use pliers to rip the quills from his face. Not a pleasant idea.

Then we made one last call. The vet understood. He took Max in, sedated him, removed all of quills and only charged us the costs without a profit for him, or for the fact that is was a Sunday emergency.

He has been our vet every since. When our cat, Digit, had to be put down, the clinic later sent us a card with his paw print and a tuft of his hair. Everyone there signed the card. Our relationship was sealed.

On Saturday I accidentally attended the grand opening of Park Pet Hospital at their new location in West Lethbridge, only a few blocks from where we live! I’d stopped by to make an appointment to have our cat, Maya, spayed. Much to my surprise there were treats and tours as Dr. Patrick Galloway and his staff were celebrating their grand opening.

I hope you pet owners appreciate your vet as much as we do ours. If you don’t have a pet vet yet, I highly recommend you check out Park Pet Hospital. It’s a great bunch of people who really care about your animals friends.

Congratulations to doctors Galloway, Schluchter, Kremeniuk and McLean and all of the staff at Park Pet Hospital. Thanks for relocating to our neighbourhood.

RIP Ripley

Those of you who are Facebook Friends may have seen my photos there of three mice I acquired as pets more than a year ago. Sadly, I had to put of the sisters down early in the past week. Ripley, the brown mouse, lived in the same enclosure as her two sisters. They shared the same home, the same food and same access the wheel and climbing toys. But Ripley gained weight that Thelma and Louise have avoided. She really was a roly-poly little fur ball in the end. I found one morning lying in middle of the cage not moving. I actually thought she was dead. However, when I lifted her up, she shifted in my hand. Not quite dead, but obviously suffering, so I couldn't leave her like that. I humanely ended her suffering. So, RIP Ripley. 

Photos: 1) Me shoveling snow last winter. This winter looks like it'll be the same! 2) Max posing at Nicolas Sheran Park this past spring. 3) Maya sleeping on the arm of the couch during the summer. 4) Ripley on my arm, Thelma and Louise in my hands shortly after they arrived a year ago.

2010: Begin Again - The Gathering Part 2

The Gathering II

Introduction: The following is the second of a three-part blog that looks at the dangers fundamentalism poses to the Earth. On Sept. 12, 2010, I was speaking at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Lethbridge. It was the day of our special 'Gathering of the Waters' ceremony. My talk and this blog plays off of the idea of human beings coming together is a similar fashion. I've divided it into three parts for an easier read and enhanced it with visuals not included in the talk. The final part will follow in the next few days. For your review: Part 1.

Warning: If you support fundamentalist religious or political beliefs, you may find parts of this series offensive. Sorry, but it's time we all opened our eyes and minds to what is happening around the Earth. These are merely my thoughts after living a life that has included membership in fundamentalist churches as well as becoming a secular humanist. If this isn't your cup of tea . . . don't drink it!

September is also the month that sees children back in school full-time. I don’t know about you, but the school playground could be the scene for a lot of animosity when I was a kid. I suspect it was the same everywhere and that likely little has changed since I was young.

Differences of opinion as to who was better would occasionally break down into the “my dad” debate. Maybe you remember it?

“My dad’s got a better car than your dad.”

“My dad’s job is better than your dad’s.”

“My dad’s richer than your dad.”

“My dad’s bigger than our dad.”

And the clincher . . .

“My dad can beat up your dad.”

Such silly, childish arguments should be relegated to our past. They should be. But they’re not. Substitute the word “god” for “dad” and see if the adult world makes any more sense.

“My God is better than your God.”

“My God is always right. Your God is wrong.”

“My God can beat up your God.” . . . and I’m going to prove it!

1 Corinthians 13:11; “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

Ladies and gentlemen, recess is over. It’s time to come in off the playground, put away childish things and do some growing.

I’m not saying people need to give up their spiritual beliefs.

But I think that for the future of this planet and for the generations that follow us, there needs to be a maturing of thought that allows for a fresh perspective and an open mind when it comes to religion and politics.

I believe a closed mind can easily fall back into an egocentric state; one in which people see their beliefs as correct and anyone with a different idea as being wrong. They see themselves in competition with others and since the ego is so vulnerable and sensitive they are compelled towards defensiveness and self-justification.

Their egocentrism manifests as an inability to see other people’s viewpoints. Lao Tzu, a philosopher in ancient China, summed it up nicely. “Without ropes they bind themselves.”

If the beliefs that serve as ropes only bound those so afflicted, perhaps it would be a tragedy only on a small, personal level. But it often seems that those so ensnared want to lasso the rest of society into sharing their same vision . . . or lack of vision as the case were.

We see that demonstrated today in the actions of religious fundamentalists of all stripes. Some seem intent on blowing up themselves and the rest of the world to bring all under the yoke of their concept of a Supreme Being. Others push to have their faith-based views serve as the basis for acceptable societal norms and to ascertain that the God of their holy scriptures is the only God.

To see this here in Lethbridge, just check out the letters to the editor in the Herald.

“My God is right; your God is wrong.”

The dangers inherent in such extremism are testimony to the wisdom of keeping church and state separate.

When a nation becomes a theocracy, the rights of minorities are often obliterated. You can see that today in some nations that are essentially Islamic theocracies. There are also those who’d like to push their nation along the path to a more fundamentalist Christian approach, especially in the U.S. Listen to them and you hear rhetoric that differs little from what’s coming out of Iran.

“My God can beat up your God . . . and I’m going to prove it.”

But the danger of extremism is already a part of the world of politics, isn’t it?

I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to wonder about politics as a way to foster positive change. Democracy is a beautiful concept, but the process seems to be grinding to a halt at provincial or state levels and higher.

Is the party system slipping away from the notion of governing with the best intent of the people in mind? Often it seems what’s best for the party governs decisions.

I hate being cynical, but sometimes I just can’t help it. Once a party is elected to form a government, the mandate no longer seems to focus as much on good governing as it does on keeping the party in power at all costs.

When such extremism comes in through the front door, rational debate is often pitched out the nearest window. Instead of intelligent argument and an exchange of ideas, you see political adversaries vilifying each other.

And you see religion dragged into politics and used as a weapon to bludgeon others for the sake of securing or retaining power, not for the good of a nation.

Next: Politics and religion. Religion and politics. When fundamentalists blend the two, the results can't be good. It's the final part of The Gathering.

2010: Begin Again - The Gathering Part 1

The Gathering

Introduction: The following is part 1 of a three-part blog that looks at the dangers fundamentalism poses to the Earth. On Sept. 12, 2010, I was speaking at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Lethbridge. It was the day of our special 'Gathering of the Waters' ceremony. My talk and this blog plays off of the idea of human beings coming together is a similar fashion. I've divided it into three parts for an easier read and enhanced it with visuals not included in the talk. The next two parts will follow during the coming week.

Warning: If you support fundamentalist religious or political beliefs, you may find parts of this series offensive. Sorry, but it's time we all opened our eyes and minds to what is happening around the Earth. These are merely my thoughts after living a life that has included membership in fundamentalist churches as well as becoming a secular humanist. If this isn't your cup of tea . . . don't drink it!

The Gathering

Imagine if this is it. Imagine if this is the only oasis of life in the cold, black expanse of space.

Yes, yes I know there are plenty of stars in the night sky. Science tells us there are billions of stars in our own galaxy and billions of galaxies in our universe. And perhaps one day we’ll discover our universe is only one of billions in a multiverse.

Now that can make you feel a little insignificant, can’t it?

Carl Sagan, noted astronomer and perhaps best known as host of the old PBS series Cosmos, said “We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a hum-drum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people.”

But what if this is it for life?

Currently, we have no proof of life existing anywhere else. Not sentient life. Not advanced life. Not even microorganisms. Many would say that, given the reality of the number of stars in the universe, we can’t be the only planet orbiting one in such a way as to have life develop and evolve on it.

But what if we are? What if we are unique in the universe?

You can forget that feeling of insignificance I mentioned a moment ago, because suddenly each one of us, indeed, every living thing on this plant becomes more precious than the rarest gem imaginable.

Earth, our home, becomes the treasure trove of all life. And our responsibility to look after this jewel escalates beyond all levels of comprehension. We become the caretakers of the one island of life in a celestial ocean that stretches beyond our ability to perceive or even conceive.

Wow! Wouldn’t that be a magnificently noble cause to which all of humanity could aspire? For eons our species has asked why are we here, searched for our purpose and this could be it. But we’re not anywhere near there yet, are we? In fact, I would say we’re a long way from being the caretakers this planet needs.

To save the Earth, we first need to save ourselves. To save ourselves, we first need to become more united. To become more united we need to grow beyond the tribalism we have embraced for thousands of years. And to do that we need to be willing to change.

Today I’m asking you to be open to the idea of change. Some people find that a real challenge.

I do not know every individual here well enough to know your personal beliefs, faith or spiritual preferences. And my intention is not to attack any particular group or tradition. I don’t want to offend, but I hope you won’t mind that I’m going to be a little bit rude from this point on.

You see, it’s often said that in polite company there are two things we do not discuss. And those would be . . . politics and religion.

Ladies and gentlemen, take a look around. Take a good, hard, honest look at the world. The time has come to stop being so polite! Our tribal societies keep us divided and much of our tribalism is dictated by politics and religion.

The Earth is our only home and if we cannot unite in it’s preservation, we will fall victim to our own tribal ideologies. At the time of the American Civil War, Abraham Lincoln noted: “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” This is our house and if we cannot stand united, we will fall divided.

Nine years ago this month, we witnessed an extreme example of the effect of living in insular tribes. Do you remember where you were on on Sept. 11, 2001?

On that day, members of one tribe, guided by the ravings of someone with influence in their lives, turned four passenger jets into weapons of mass destruction, smashing into the twin towers of the world trade centre, the Pentagon and into a field in Pennsylvania.

Certainly, this is an exceptional case. It’s easy to point fingers at the perpetrators of these acts of terrorism, to despise them and to hold everyone who follows their faith to blame. But doing that means we need to turn a mirror on our own tribes and reflect on our history. Horrific atrocities have been committed to spread beliefs that many in our society hold dear.

No group can claim its hands are clean. We could wonder around like latter-day Lady Macbeth’s, wringing our hands and crying “Out, damned spot, out I say” in anguish over the blood shed for many pointless reasons.

Or we could take a different, more productive path. One of change.

Next: Part 2 of The Gathering looks at the need for humanity to grow up and leave our childish ways behind if we are to every become the caretakers of this planet Earth.

2010: Begin Again - Developing Self Trust

Adventures on the Quest – Law of Mind Action

There is a huge trust deficit in society right now. Public trust in business, the media and politicians is currently at historically low levels. Lack of trust has a huge negative impact on society. These are some of the lessons shared by Stephen M.R. Covey in The Speed of Trust and at a presentation Sept. 23 at Lethbridge College.

It was also the focus of my last blog entry, the first of three looking at the elements converging in my life right now. Covey talks about the Five Waves of Trust with the first and most important being self trust.

Self trust plays an important role in the recent exercises I completed as part of The Quest: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery. Darren Hutchison, a friend of mine, and I are slowly working through the book. Recently we finished off Chapter 19 – Law of Mind Action. This really gets down to dealing with self trust and how, if we want to change our lives, we need to change our thoughts.

The study helps bring attention to areas we may not otherwise delve into. I’ve been bothered by how I’ve reacted to life and began this year with the intention to, in a way, start things over. Hence the blog – 2010: Being Again.

I’ve come to realize that a lack of self trust can be the biggest obstacle we need to overcome in personal efforts to find the happiness and success we want in life. Paying attention to how we make decisions and what we think can increase awareness of our self trust and help us focus on making needed changes.

Exploring self trust

Adventures on the Quest challenges readers to explore areas of self trust. Three exercises included:

1. Think of your earliest thought about a life-changing experience. Perhaps it was a decision to marry someone or to get a divorce. Maybe it was a decision to change a job or to have a child. Describe how that thought led to your eventual action. Be as detailed as you can.
2. Are you facing a decision now? Write down your thoughts about it.
3. Will these thoughts lead you where you want to go? Explain how they will or will not.

This is the kind of stuff few of us, and by that I mean me, ever undertake. Blissfully, we go through life perhaps not living up to our potential and wondering what’s holding us back. At least, that’s the case for me. What are we listening to? What is impacting our thoughts and, subsequently, our self trust as well as trust in others.

The chapter talks about the impact of the thoughts and messages that bombard us every day. Think about commercials on TV and the radio, and ads on billboards and in newspapers and magazine. All are attempts to influence how you think. And don’t you think that this can affect your self trust? I’d say yup! You betcha!

4. What commercials or advertisement do you disagree with? Name three and list the reasons you disagree with them. For example, maybe you don’t like being told that you must smoke a cigarette or drink a certain beverage to be sophisticated.
5. What popular thinking to you agree or disagree with and why? Perhaps you agree with popular thought about economic good times or bad times. You may agree or disagree with the implications of the news media that we live in a dangerous world.
6. Think about your life. What is your dominant thought about yourself? Write it out.
7. What major shift in your thinking is needed at this point in your life? Be specific in your details.
   

Our thoughts determine our self trust

How we think and what we think of ourselves gets right to the heart of the self trust Stephen Covey talks about. Without that self trust, the first pebble in the pond, the other ripples necessary to reach societal trust can’t happen.

Learn to trust yourself. If that’s an issue for you, how do you overcome it?

Picking up on Covey’s teachings, sometimes we develop a lack of self trust because we make promises we fail to keep. Think about New Years resolutions. How often do people make a decision at the beginning of the year only to see their determination quickly slip away, often before Valentine’s Day?

Hey, wait a moment. That’s me in the mirror! Those resolutions slip sliding away are mine. So, what’s the result?

Repeat it a few times and perhaps subconsciously we begin registering the fact that we can’t even trust ourselves to live up to our own self promises.

Without self trust, the ripples do not expand out to the other waves that need to wash over society and bring about needed change. So, what can we do? Take action to begin growing self trust. Simple steps are the best. Something to which you can commit.

Maybe you’re looking to lose some weight. (Yup, that’s still me in the mirror. Just more of me than I'd like there to be!) How about a promise to walk every day? Live up to that promise if you haven’t before. Prove to yourself that you can be trusted. It’s a small step. But it’s a beginning on which you can build.

So join me. Take that small step. Build your own self trust and let the ripples start to spread.

Next: Self trust. Without it people can come within reach of a dream or goal only to let it slip away. Three Feet from Gold explores the lives of people who had enough self trust to over come obstacles and challenges to attain their goals. Also: A few days ago I shared a special lesson on Facebook - ((P+T) x A x A) + F = ??? I'll share the solution in the next blog entry; the final in this series of three about self trust.

Photos: Adventures on the Quest asks readers to think about their lives and consider what is the framework around which they fill in the details. Think of it like a sculptor who creates a metal frame and fills in the details with clay. What is the key framework for you? The photos capture my framework. Lynda and I took our grandson, JC, down to Indian Battle Park in Lethbridge on Sunday. I’m with the woman I love on multiple levels, she is my best friend, we’re enjoying nature and sharing it with our grandson, thus helping him to appreciate it, too. Top: Lynda and I in a self-portrait at the park. Next: Lynda and JC at the base of Lethbridge's High Level Bridge. Next: JC and I take a look at a garter snake I spotted off to the side of the path. Bottom: Close up of the snake. JC liked him almost as much as I did!

2010: Begin Again - Speed of Trust

“If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself.” – Bob Dylan, Trust Yourself

I think that any success in life has its roots in trust. Trust in others, trust in organizations, and trust in yourself. Trust in yourself is the most important as far as I’m concerned, so right on Mr. Dylan.

In the last couple of days, my life has seen a convergence of elements that all seem to speak to trust. The first, and most publicly obvious, was the Wednesday morning presentation by Stephen M. R. Covey to the employees and students of Lethbridge College.

Covey popped by the college for part of what had to be a very busy 48 hours for him; a presentation Tuesday night to college supporters, one at a Wednesday morning breakfast seminar for local business people, then a wrap up session at the college. Kudos to Mr. Covey for energy! And kudos for a great message, too.

He was sharing concepts from his book, The Speed of Trust – The One Thing that Changes Everything. If you don’t have the book, you might want to get a copy. Well, I guess only if you have contact in some fashion with other human beings. If you don’t, I wouldn’t worry about it.

There was a ton of information in Covey’s presentation and even more in the book. Essentially, he makes the case for trust being about much more than just a social virtue. It’s not just a warm, fuzzy feeling we can have for each other. Covey talks about three big ideas:

1. Trust is an economic driver, not merely a social virtue.
2. Trust is the #1 competency of leadership needed today.
3. Trust is a learnable skill.

Trust has an enormous impact on society. Right now, trust in business is at an all-time low. Gee, I wonder why? Just take a look at the last couple of years and what’s been happening in big business. (Sidenote: That’s one reason why you should be considering a small business of your own in this economy!)

Organizations, businesses and government are all lacking a trust factor. And the costs can be huge. Investing in building honest trust, not something manipulative as demonstrated by those who talk it, but don’t really walk it, is vital for economic recovery.

As a quick example, Covey talks about a Trust Tax and a Trust Dividend. The tax shows when trust is down in a company. Speed or production follows it down while resulting costs can spiral up. The dividend shows when the opposite happens. An increase in trust sees a rise in speed and a decrease in cost. Companies that fail to invest in their people and in building trust in them ultimately pay a cost. A lack of trust can be a prime motivator for your top people to bail on your company and go elsewhere.

Character and Competence

The two sides of trust are character and competence. If both aren’t present in some balance, there will be a lack to trust. Think of people you know or work situations you have experienced. Almost all of us can think of people who’ve had good character, but lacked competence. They can be likable, fun to be around, great people to know. But if they lack competence, trust in them will falter.

Something I’ve seen more of over the years is the opposite – people with competence, but no character. Oh, they know what they’re doing, but they don’t show any real empathy for others. People don’t matter to them. Perhaps they see people as pawns to be used to reach a goal. Sometimes they’ll say or do the right things, but even then it’s more manipulative than sincere. They actually think only of themselves and what they want. Try to have trust in that scenario.

The Five Waves of Trust

The last thing I’ll share from Covey’s presentation is the flow of trust. Covey talked about the Five Waves of Trust. The visual is a drop of water falling into pool and causing ripples to flow out. Each ripple represents another level in the flow of trust. The Five Waves are:

1. Self trust. (See, Bob Dylan and I are on the save wave-length!)
2. Relationship trust. Your trust in others grows. You begin to form ‘trust accounts.’
3. Organizational trust. This starts to examine how leadership can create trust in different organizations.
4. Market trust. Earlier ripples start to build and reputation becomes strong. It’s your organization’s brand . . . and your own personal brand. People are now trusting it.
5. Societal trust. By this point, we are giving our earned trust back to others and, in a way, coming full circle as our growing trust of others inspires greater self trust and begins the wave all over again.

I have not done Stephen Covey justice with this brief review. If you are in business, whether a traditional retail or self-employed in a home business, or if you are employed by someone else, building an open and honest trust in your relationships among those with whom you interact is a vital key to success. Get the book and see how you can improve your trust factor.

Photo: Stephen M. R. Covey

Next in 2010: Begin Again

I’ll take a look at the second of the converging elements affecting my thoughts right now – The Quest: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery, Chapter 19 – Law of Mind Action and how I believe what we think impacts the very first step in the Five Waves of Trust.

2010: Begin Again: A van-tasy

Dreaming

Are you familiar with the Pepsi ‘Forever Young’ promotion?

I don’t know if this ran in the U.S., but my fellow Canadians will likely recall it. Someone is drinking a Diet Pepsi and the voiceover asks “Is there anything else youthful you'd like to experience?”

Then the person drinking has a flashback to something great from when they were young, sees how it would apply to life today and decides to stick with the Diet Pepsi instead.

The one that gets me is the guy in the minivan who says, “Yeah, I’d like to have my old van back.”

The view cuts to him driving around in this tricked-out Boogie van from the ‘70s with the gaudy mural of the big-breasted warrior woman and her team of saber-toothed cat/bear things. Cue Loverboy’s ‘Working for the Weekend.’ The music pounds, the van rolls and everyone is looking at him. A businessman gives the driver an odd look at a red light. He stops to let the kids out at school and a mother covers her little girl’s eyes as the driver stands leaning up against the van with one hand near one of those massive breasts.

He’s quite embarrassed. He snaps to and says “On second thought, I’ll stick with my Diet Pepsi.”

Wrong answer, dude! See, I had a Boogie van back in the late ‘70s. Yes. Me. And recently I’ve been thinking how great it would be to have one again. That one in the Pepsi ad would be so cool!

There was a very cool van around in 1976 sponsored by Pepsi’s competitor, Coke! Check out the photo I’ve included with this posting. Took me a bit of time to find it. Coke and Levi, the jeans people, teamed up to produce about 25 of these vans, giving them away in contests across North America. I entered a bunch of times, but never did win the van, although someone in Alberta did win one. Very nice custom interior . . . all in Levi denim.

Mine was a Dodge Tradesman B100. It was sort of a copper colour. No exterior mural. Couldn’t afford that. Duel side exhaust. Visor. Flares. No side or rear windows. My friend, Ian, and I worked on the interior. Ian had a Chevy van with a beautiful interior. We had lots of fun doing my van. I’m a klutz with things like that, so Ian was a big help. We built a good bed in back, with a pullout middle section that served as an extra seat and a cooler. Installed wood flooring and ox-blood red faux leather walls. Put in a sunroof.

I loved that van. Every once in a while, deep in a restful sleep, I will dream that I still have it. That it’s been sitting in a garage somewhere all these years and I just have to dust it off, start it up and get back on the road.

It’s a nice reminder that we all have dreams. Often we let the dreams slip away as we ‘mature.’

Life has a way of smacking you upside the head with a two-by-four. Before you know it, you’re working in a career, you’re married, you’ve got kids, the kids grow up and move away (hopefully) and you’re left staring at the fact that so much of what you wanted to do when you were young hasn’t happened.

The goals you had were put on hold, then got lost in the back of that garage in your mind, covered with dust and forgotten about. Part of what 2010: Begin Again means to me is examining those old dreams and seeing about resuscitating them. Can a little mental CPR breath new life into my earlier desires? At least those dreams that still intrigue and interest me.

I like to think it’s never too late to begin again. Take a fresh look at life and see if you’re living the way you really want to, or if you are living the way you have to. There’s a big difference. I’m fortunate to have a job I enjoy working with people I like. Not everyone has that. But there is still more I want to accomplish.

If you’re still in your 20s or 30s, don’t give up on your dreams. Maybe it doesn’t seem like they are possible right now, but if you work a plan to make them happen, you’ve got time. If you’re closer to me in age, I still say don’t surrender to the passage of time. You can still make a plan to achieve, then work your plan.

My plan involves developing second income streams to enhance what I currently earn. This summer I’ve been fortunate to have time to do some research and develop some ideas to achieve that goal.

One of those ideas is to provide others with access to a service that allows people to easily connect, reconnect and stay in touch with friends, family, co-workers clients and just about anyone else through easily customized greeting cards that are printed and mailed for you for less then you could spend on a card purchased in most stores. You can check this out here.

And if you want to see my van, stay tuned. I’m going to try to locate and scan some photos from that era. You’ll get to see me when I was skinny (I was once, you know), had a cheesy moustache and a perm! Hey, it was the ‘70s.

I can skip the cheesy moustache and the perm, but I’d sure like to have the van again!

Cue the music . . .

“Everyone's watching, to see what you will do

Everyone's looking at you, oh

Everyone's wondering, will you come out tonight

Everyone's trying to get it right, get it right

Everybody's working for the weekend

Everybody wants a new romance

Everybody's goin' off the deep end

Everybody needs a second chance, oh”

And fade out . . .

Photo: The machine of a dream. The Coke Denim Machine. I wanted it so badly. To enter the contest you needed to collect bottle cap liners. This was the day of metal bottle caps. I used a magnet on a sting to fish caps out of vending machines. Ya see, in the olden days you'd use the machines built-in bottle opener to pop the metal cap, which would fall into a receptacle below. How primitive!

2010: Begin Again - Friends and a Misty Update

Time Keeps on Slipping into the Future

How much time do you spend thinking about the future? Now that I have less time ahead of me than what lies in my past, I think my perspective on the future is evolving. When younger, say in my 20s or 30s, even 40s, it seemed there was all the time in the world. That belief is now pretty much part of the past in which it was formed.

At the risk of sounding like someone’s old grandfather, don’t take what you’ve currently got for granted and it’s never too early to plan for your future. In this case, do as I say and not as I do. I haven’t done a lot of planning for my future . . . and I realized yesterday that technically I’ve only got 12 years to go until retirement! Scary!

As 2010 rolls along and I focus on the idea of ‘begin again,’ much of my reflection has been on a deep, personal level. Last week I shared about realizing I’ve let the riches of friendship slip through my fingers. That’s something I’m working at correcting.

I’ve begun to put together a list of people who have touched my life in some way over the years. Not an easy task, but a real eye-opener! Looking at an address book we use, I was shocked to see so many names that I can’t even recall. I can’t picture faces. I don’t remember the connection. And that’s sad. I suspect many were affiliated with a couple of churches we used to attend. It seems you leave a church and often you leave behind acquaintances.

Those I can’t recall I shall consider lost treasures. They came into my life, enriched a moment and were gone. But there are others whose names stir fond memories. Gems that still shine brightly in my recollections. To these jewels, I have started reaching out. Through social networking I am reconnecting with some wonderful people. And I’m not going to stop there.

Is there such a thing as Providence? Divine Intervention? Law of Attraction? Or is it all coincidence? Whatever you believe, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Remember Desiderata? It certainly unfolded right for me. Just as I’m experiencing the desire to foster stronger friendships, along comes a means that will let me do that in a wonderfully personal and creative way.

I reconnected with a friend I’d been thinking about – Jackie Ulmer. Jackie and I re-established contact after being out of touch for a couple of years. She introduced me to a method she’s been using to strengthen friendships by using a service provided through a company called Send Out Cards. When I found out how easy it was to generate and send personal greetings to others, I felt my wishes crossing paths with a means in either a great coincidence or a benevolent intervention!

Whatever the case, it means I’m going to start going beyond the Internet and back to the personal touch to express how deeply my friends have touched me. For this blessing in my life, I have to thank Jackie.

So, keep an eye on your mailbox. If I’ve got your address, you could be receiving a card from me sometime soon. And if I don’t have your address, well, I might just try to track it down! Yes, you do mean that much to me!

Updates
Spirituality: I’m getting excited about speaking to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship here in Lethbridge on Sunday, Sept. 12. It’s the first celebration together after taking the summer off. The theme is ‘Gathering of the Waters.’ My talk will fall in line with that theme and with the song ‘Imagine,’ being sung by Sarah Russell – my pick!

This is not your traditional church! In fact, I wouldn’t even call our group a church. It’s more a celebration of life with a group that includes people of a wide range of beliefs, but a common interest in improving the here-and-now and not worrying so much about what comes after! If you are interested, we meet at 1904 - 13 Avenue North in Lethbridge. That’s the Nord-Bridge Community Hall. Enter from the south side of the building at the door with the wheelchair ramp. If you want to learn more about the UUF in Lethbridge, let me know and I’ll share what I can.

Health: It may not sound like much, but I’m walking more often. That was easier when I only had Max to deal with. He can set a could pace and is well trained on the leash or off. But now I’ve got Misty, too, for a short while. She’s hardly spent any time outdoors and never on a leash. We’re working on it! But you can see she’s not too keen on walking on grass!

Finances: Being laid off for the summer has been interesting. Fortunately, it’s considered a seasonal layoff and I qualify for EI! Hey, I’ve paid into it for a lot of years; I might as well get something back. Of course, it’s not equal to my salary from the college, but I go back to work on Aug. 30. And there’s a bonus waiting for me on the first pay cheque (that’s ‘check’ for all my friends who speak American). No, it’s not for anything I did. Due to the economy, there are not raises this year, but the Board of Governors has approved a $1,000 bonus to help compensate.

Misty: It was a shivering little frightened dog that came into our home last Wednesday. She was even afraid of little Maya. The tiny kitten puffed herself up, hissed and Misty cowered behind my legs. Now poor Maya may regret that bluff. Misty has settled in and routinely pounces on Maya in an effort to get her to play. She’s twice the size of the kitten and I have to call her off so poor Maya can have some peace. My son’s cat, Freckles, is fine with the big lumbering Max and Maya, but is paranoid about Misty. She stays hidden most of the time. And Max would love to play with Misty, but she’s too nervous around Max. She goes out of her way to avoid him. Some day she’ll learn he’s as big a pussycat as Maya . . . only, well, bigger!

Until next time – live, love and laugh!

Photos: Misty sitting with me at the Nicholas Sheran spray park in Lethbridge. It was her second excursion on a leash. Maya crams her head into my grandson's glass looking to lap up some milk. Sunday was a good day!

Derek (GIC – Guy In Charge)

2010: Begin Again . . . Again!

Five months. That’s all that’s left in 2010. The year is more than half over. And I’m starting August with a nice, big serving of humble pie! Hmmm, hmmm good.

Why humble pie? Well, first it’s low in calories and has no fat!

Also because I’m nowhere near where I want to be by the time 2011 rolls around. If you’ve read this blog in the past, you may remember that back in January I said “this year I don’t want a resolution; I want a REVOLUTION!”

I also said, “I have no expectation of immediate wholesale change. But step-by-step I will move in a new direction with an understanding that at the end of this year I will be a better person.”

Baby steps have been the order of the day so far! Now it’s time to start taking giant steps and wrap up the year on a high note. I’m going to sharing a lot in the days, weeks and months ahead. But here’s a quick overview of the Revolution so far.

Spirituality: Wow! What a year so far. I’ve read many books, checked out a lot of things online and I have grown. I’m working through Unity Church’s Quest series with a friend of mine. It challenges me to think about spirit in new ways, and that’s great. My personal beliefs have evolved and will likely continue to do so. Right now, I think it’s best if I describe myself as a secular humanist. It seems to come closest to describing where my mind is at.

I’ve also committed to attending the Unitarian-Universalist Fellowship in Lethbridge. I had attended for several months, then took a break for several months to process things. Now I’m back. In fact, I’m speaking at the first service after the summer break! That’ll be Sept. 12 and you’re invited to attend if you wish. More on that later!

Most importantly, I’ve come to realize that life is more rewarding with friendships and family. (I think I’ll have another serving of humble pie right about now. Good thing it’s fat-free.) I have been negligent in maintaining, building and fostering friendships and for that I am truly sorry.

While material wealth is nice, our real riches are found in friendships and families. I’ve let many such riches slip through my fingers over the years. Growing up in a military family, combined with my personality type, is part of the reason for my neglect. It’s easy to reach a point where you stop working on friendships. For me, grades 1-3 were in one school, grade 4 in another, 5 and 6 in another, 7 in another, 8 in another, 9-11 in another and finally 12 in yet another. Different schools in different towns and even in different countries. Letting relationships slide can become habit forming.

But revolution can break habits and create new patterns of behaviour. So I plan to connect and reconnect with friends old and new. Fortunately, I’ve come across a very cool and personalized way to do that! I’ll be sharing more about that in the near future.

Health: Well, this is one area that still needs a lot of work. I have a goal weight in mind for the end of the year, but I’ve done little to reach it. My weight has gone down, then back up. Now I need to focus. I carry most of the extra pounds around my middle . . . the worst place to store fat. It tends to lead to greater risk of heart problems. So corrected that will be high on the list for the next five months.

Finances. Right now, they’re still not what I want. But I’m putting a plan into action to start moving in the right direction. More on that to come.

Basically, there’s been a great deal of research and reading leading up to now . . . the time to implement. It’s never to late to begin again. If things aren’t going quite as you’d like, you’re invited to join me and still make it 2010: Begin Again.

Photo: New emphasis on family . . . me choking my eldest son, Devon, at my Aunt Betty's place after the Magrath parade on July 24.