2010: Begin Again - Developing Self Trust

Adventures on the Quest – Law of Mind Action

There is a huge trust deficit in society right now. Public trust in business, the media and politicians is currently at historically low levels. Lack of trust has a huge negative impact on society. These are some of the lessons shared by Stephen M.R. Covey in The Speed of Trust and at a presentation Sept. 23 at Lethbridge College.

It was also the focus of my last blog entry, the first of three looking at the elements converging in my life right now. Covey talks about the Five Waves of Trust with the first and most important being self trust.

Self trust plays an important role in the recent exercises I completed as part of The Quest: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery. Darren Hutchison, a friend of mine, and I are slowly working through the book. Recently we finished off Chapter 19 – Law of Mind Action. This really gets down to dealing with self trust and how, if we want to change our lives, we need to change our thoughts.

The study helps bring attention to areas we may not otherwise delve into. I’ve been bothered by how I’ve reacted to life and began this year with the intention to, in a way, start things over. Hence the blog – 2010: Being Again.

I’ve come to realize that a lack of self trust can be the biggest obstacle we need to overcome in personal efforts to find the happiness and success we want in life. Paying attention to how we make decisions and what we think can increase awareness of our self trust and help us focus on making needed changes.

Exploring self trust

Adventures on the Quest challenges readers to explore areas of self trust. Three exercises included:

1. Think of your earliest thought about a life-changing experience. Perhaps it was a decision to marry someone or to get a divorce. Maybe it was a decision to change a job or to have a child. Describe how that thought led to your eventual action. Be as detailed as you can.
2. Are you facing a decision now? Write down your thoughts about it.
3. Will these thoughts lead you where you want to go? Explain how they will or will not.

This is the kind of stuff few of us, and by that I mean me, ever undertake. Blissfully, we go through life perhaps not living up to our potential and wondering what’s holding us back. At least, that’s the case for me. What are we listening to? What is impacting our thoughts and, subsequently, our self trust as well as trust in others.

The chapter talks about the impact of the thoughts and messages that bombard us every day. Think about commercials on TV and the radio, and ads on billboards and in newspapers and magazine. All are attempts to influence how you think. And don’t you think that this can affect your self trust? I’d say yup! You betcha!

4. What commercials or advertisement do you disagree with? Name three and list the reasons you disagree with them. For example, maybe you don’t like being told that you must smoke a cigarette or drink a certain beverage to be sophisticated.
5. What popular thinking to you agree or disagree with and why? Perhaps you agree with popular thought about economic good times or bad times. You may agree or disagree with the implications of the news media that we live in a dangerous world.
6. Think about your life. What is your dominant thought about yourself? Write it out.
7. What major shift in your thinking is needed at this point in your life? Be specific in your details.
   

Our thoughts determine our self trust

How we think and what we think of ourselves gets right to the heart of the self trust Stephen Covey talks about. Without that self trust, the first pebble in the pond, the other ripples necessary to reach societal trust can’t happen.

Learn to trust yourself. If that’s an issue for you, how do you overcome it?

Picking up on Covey’s teachings, sometimes we develop a lack of self trust because we make promises we fail to keep. Think about New Years resolutions. How often do people make a decision at the beginning of the year only to see their determination quickly slip away, often before Valentine’s Day?

Hey, wait a moment. That’s me in the mirror! Those resolutions slip sliding away are mine. So, what’s the result?

Repeat it a few times and perhaps subconsciously we begin registering the fact that we can’t even trust ourselves to live up to our own self promises.

Without self trust, the ripples do not expand out to the other waves that need to wash over society and bring about needed change. So, what can we do? Take action to begin growing self trust. Simple steps are the best. Something to which you can commit.

Maybe you’re looking to lose some weight. (Yup, that’s still me in the mirror. Just more of me than I'd like there to be!) How about a promise to walk every day? Live up to that promise if you haven’t before. Prove to yourself that you can be trusted. It’s a small step. But it’s a beginning on which you can build.

So join me. Take that small step. Build your own self trust and let the ripples start to spread.

Next: Self trust. Without it people can come within reach of a dream or goal only to let it slip away. Three Feet from Gold explores the lives of people who had enough self trust to over come obstacles and challenges to attain their goals. Also: A few days ago I shared a special lesson on Facebook - ((P+T) x A x A) + F = ??? I'll share the solution in the next blog entry; the final in this series of three about self trust.

Photos: Adventures on the Quest asks readers to think about their lives and consider what is the framework around which they fill in the details. Think of it like a sculptor who creates a metal frame and fills in the details with clay. What is the key framework for you? The photos capture my framework. Lynda and I took our grandson, JC, down to Indian Battle Park in Lethbridge on Sunday. I’m with the woman I love on multiple levels, she is my best friend, we’re enjoying nature and sharing it with our grandson, thus helping him to appreciate it, too. Top: Lynda and I in a self-portrait at the park. Next: Lynda and JC at the base of Lethbridge's High Level Bridge. Next: JC and I take a look at a garter snake I spotted off to the side of the path. Bottom: Close up of the snake. JC liked him almost as much as I did!

2010: Begin Again - Speed of Trust

“If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself.” – Bob Dylan, Trust Yourself

I think that any success in life has its roots in trust. Trust in others, trust in organizations, and trust in yourself. Trust in yourself is the most important as far as I’m concerned, so right on Mr. Dylan.

In the last couple of days, my life has seen a convergence of elements that all seem to speak to trust. The first, and most publicly obvious, was the Wednesday morning presentation by Stephen M. R. Covey to the employees and students of Lethbridge College.

Covey popped by the college for part of what had to be a very busy 48 hours for him; a presentation Tuesday night to college supporters, one at a Wednesday morning breakfast seminar for local business people, then a wrap up session at the college. Kudos to Mr. Covey for energy! And kudos for a great message, too.

He was sharing concepts from his book, The Speed of Trust – The One Thing that Changes Everything. If you don’t have the book, you might want to get a copy. Well, I guess only if you have contact in some fashion with other human beings. If you don’t, I wouldn’t worry about it.

There was a ton of information in Covey’s presentation and even more in the book. Essentially, he makes the case for trust being about much more than just a social virtue. It’s not just a warm, fuzzy feeling we can have for each other. Covey talks about three big ideas:

1. Trust is an economic driver, not merely a social virtue.
2. Trust is the #1 competency of leadership needed today.
3. Trust is a learnable skill.

Trust has an enormous impact on society. Right now, trust in business is at an all-time low. Gee, I wonder why? Just take a look at the last couple of years and what’s been happening in big business. (Sidenote: That’s one reason why you should be considering a small business of your own in this economy!)

Organizations, businesses and government are all lacking a trust factor. And the costs can be huge. Investing in building honest trust, not something manipulative as demonstrated by those who talk it, but don’t really walk it, is vital for economic recovery.

As a quick example, Covey talks about a Trust Tax and a Trust Dividend. The tax shows when trust is down in a company. Speed or production follows it down while resulting costs can spiral up. The dividend shows when the opposite happens. An increase in trust sees a rise in speed and a decrease in cost. Companies that fail to invest in their people and in building trust in them ultimately pay a cost. A lack of trust can be a prime motivator for your top people to bail on your company and go elsewhere.

Character and Competence

The two sides of trust are character and competence. If both aren’t present in some balance, there will be a lack to trust. Think of people you know or work situations you have experienced. Almost all of us can think of people who’ve had good character, but lacked competence. They can be likable, fun to be around, great people to know. But if they lack competence, trust in them will falter.

Something I’ve seen more of over the years is the opposite – people with competence, but no character. Oh, they know what they’re doing, but they don’t show any real empathy for others. People don’t matter to them. Perhaps they see people as pawns to be used to reach a goal. Sometimes they’ll say or do the right things, but even then it’s more manipulative than sincere. They actually think only of themselves and what they want. Try to have trust in that scenario.

The Five Waves of Trust

The last thing I’ll share from Covey’s presentation is the flow of trust. Covey talked about the Five Waves of Trust. The visual is a drop of water falling into pool and causing ripples to flow out. Each ripple represents another level in the flow of trust. The Five Waves are:

1. Self trust. (See, Bob Dylan and I are on the save wave-length!)
2. Relationship trust. Your trust in others grows. You begin to form ‘trust accounts.’
3. Organizational trust. This starts to examine how leadership can create trust in different organizations.
4. Market trust. Earlier ripples start to build and reputation becomes strong. It’s your organization’s brand . . . and your own personal brand. People are now trusting it.
5. Societal trust. By this point, we are giving our earned trust back to others and, in a way, coming full circle as our growing trust of others inspires greater self trust and begins the wave all over again.

I have not done Stephen Covey justice with this brief review. If you are in business, whether a traditional retail or self-employed in a home business, or if you are employed by someone else, building an open and honest trust in your relationships among those with whom you interact is a vital key to success. Get the book and see how you can improve your trust factor.

Photo: Stephen M. R. Covey

Next in 2010: Begin Again

I’ll take a look at the second of the converging elements affecting my thoughts right now – The Quest: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery, Chapter 19 – Law of Mind Action and how I believe what we think impacts the very first step in the Five Waves of Trust.