2010: Begin Again - Self Trust and Personal Success

Go for the Gold

Thar’s gold in them thar hills! At least there was back in 1854 in a territory that soon after became the state of Colorado. Stories abound of men who struck it rich and of the many more men who toiled away and earned very little . . . or nothing. Perhaps the best lesson to come out of the gold rush was shared by Napoleon Hill in the classic book Think and Grow Rich.

At the time, R. U. Darby, who lived in Maryland, was contacted by an uncle who’d struck gold in Colorado. The uncle needed financial support to buy equipment necessary to process the vein. With the support of friends and a few neighbours, the money was raised, the equipment purchased and Darby accompanied his uncle out west to work the claim.

The quality of the ore proved top-rate and the men went to town drilling away to dig up the gold. Just when things were looking great, the vein of gold disappeared. The men drilled on to no avail. Finally, giving up the hunt, they took their loses, sold the equipment to a junk man and returned home to the east.

The junkman hired a mining engineer to look at the site. The engineer determined the original owners didn’t know enough about fault lines to realize they needed to shift their operation. Three feet over, the junkman found the main vein and went on to extract millions of dollars worth of gold. And this was in the 1850s when a million really meant something

Three Feet From Gold

Greg Reid and Sharon Lechter recall this story in their book Three Feet from Gold. Consider the book a follow up to Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, supported by The Napoleon Hill Foundation

The lesson commonly taught from this story is that we should never give up on a goal. Persistence can be the key to eventual success.

Yeah, that’s good. And I agree with it. But I think there is more here than learning of the need to stick to it. In fact, the lessons in Three Feet from Gold tie right back to my previous blogs on the Speed of Trust and Developing Self Trust. And that’s what has me excited right now.

When I see a convergence of ideas that build on and support each other, I think I’ve learned a real lesson. That’s what I’m taking away from my experience with The Speed of Trust presentation by Stephen M.R. Covey at Lethbridge College; exercises and teachings in The Quest: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery; and the wonderful stories in Three Feet from Gold.

The Reid and Lechter book shares the stories of real men and women who faced huge obstacles with grit and determination and pushed through them to find incredible success on the other side. People from the worlds of business, philanthropy, sports and publishing. People like James Amos, former chair and CEO of Mail Boxes Etc.; Genevieve Bos, who started Pink Magazine for professional women; Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A Inc.; Debbi Fields, of Mrs. Fields Cookies fame; Mark Victor Hansen; Evander Holyfield; and more.

Some names you’d recognize, some you would not. But in most cases you’d be familiar with the outcomes of their tales. Yes, they showed determination, but they also showed a huge degree of self trust.

Each goal they achieved along the way placed another stone of proof in their walls of self trust. They developed a deep-seated belief in who they were, what they were doing and in the knowledge that they could trust themselves to do what was needed.

Catch the Wave

Remember, self trust is the first point in Covey’s Five Waves of Trust. With that firmly in place, the ripples could flow out through the other four waves, Relationship Trust, Organizational Trust, Market Trust and Societal Trust. And those are waves you can ride to whatever success you seek. But it all starts with Self Trust.

Do you really, deep down inside, trust yourself? That trust is the key to your own success. Think about it. If that first wave rolls out to the second, Relationship Trust, you begin to enhance the base from which you can build. With a growing Relationship Trust, you start to see people in your life who can help you move forward.

What if R. U. Darby’s trust had extended out beyond his uncle and family members? Perhaps a stronger Relationship Trust could have led to contact with someone wise enough to help him understand gold mining a bit better and that massive vein could have been found by Darby instead of the junk dealer.

In my life I’m finally, at 53, beginning to develop the self trust that will take me from here to there . . . wherever I decide there to be. Developing it requires taking some baby steps to achieve small goals that confirm within my own consciousness that I can trust myself to get it done.

It also requires, as pointed out in Adventures on the Quest, an awareness of what I’m feeding the brain and a willingness to critically examine what’s going into it. Is it my truth or what someone else wants me to believe?

GIGO

Our perception of the world can be skewed to the negative by what we read and see. We can allow ourselves to absorb the world’s sewage or we can filter out what doesn’t truly feed us. My wife rarely reads or watches the news. Why? Too depressing!

Think about what gets media attention. Do you see a lot of good news and uplifting stories? As I write this blog entry, I’ve quickly skipped over to Yahoo.ca to see the current headlines. Here they are in the exact order as of this moment:

• Toronto high school locked down after shots fired inside
• Gay student secretly taped having sex kills self in N.J.
• T.O. MD faces 26 new charges of molesting sleeping patients
• Father weeps as he admits shooting infant son with shotgun
• Shootout on Toronto streets leaves two people dead
• '100 per cent' sure life exists on new planet: Astronomer
• Virgin offering deep discounts on flights to Toronto
• Stand-up comedian Greg Giraldo dies of overdose at 44
• Several bright UFOs sighted in skies over Montreal
• Paris Hilton and new beau in car accident in Hollywood

That’s 10 headlines. Read the first five again. How does it make you feel? Life seems cheapened, doesn’t it? Death. Suicide. Abuse. Murder. But the sixth headline offers hope: there’s somewhere else that might have life. Maybe we could move there, if Virgin’s deep discounts on flights would include the long haul through space. Of course, the UFOs over Montreal may provide a better deal if they have a seat sale!

GIGO – garbage in, garbage out. If this is all we feed our brains, can you see how our perception of the world could start to become excessively negative? Self trust requires proper care to bloom and grow. This type of raw sewage carries little of nutritional value. Be sure to use a good filtration system when allowing the world to enter.

Consider what is influencing you’re thinking. Through self examination it’s possible to begin enhancing self trust, allowing an individual to see that aspirations may truly be attainable after all. Perhaps the trust waves can carry us further and we won’t stop three feet from gold.

Personal Success Equation

It’s time to wrap up this three-part series on the converging elements that have impacted me during the last two weeks. About a week ago I posted the following on Facebook; Lesson for today: ((P+T) x A x A) + F = ??????

It puzzled some people. It helps summarize my thoughts on the whole self trust and success concept. I promised a solution and here it is from Three Feet From Gold.

((P+T) x A x A) + F = Your Success Equation

((Passion + Talent) x Association x Action) + Faith = Your Success Equation.

Passion and talent are fed by self trust. Multiple this by Association, which comes from the second wave – Relationship Trust – and Action, which also originates with self trust and is influenced by the resulting trust waves. Finally, add Faith. If you trust yourself and you trust individuals and organizations with which you associate, you can have the faith to forge ahead

Believe it and achieve it, my friends!

Next in 2010: Begin Again – On Sept. 12, I spoke at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in Lethbridge. My talk was called The Gathering. It’s a call for a more open-minded approach to life, one that moves away from fundamentalism of all stripes, in order to save this planet. Warning: If you are a fundamentalist who believes your way is the only way, you may not like the next posting!

2010: Begin Again - Developing Self Trust

Adventures on the Quest – Law of Mind Action

There is a huge trust deficit in society right now. Public trust in business, the media and politicians is currently at historically low levels. Lack of trust has a huge negative impact on society. These are some of the lessons shared by Stephen M.R. Covey in The Speed of Trust and at a presentation Sept. 23 at Lethbridge College.

It was also the focus of my last blog entry, the first of three looking at the elements converging in my life right now. Covey talks about the Five Waves of Trust with the first and most important being self trust.

Self trust plays an important role in the recent exercises I completed as part of The Quest: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery. Darren Hutchison, a friend of mine, and I are slowly working through the book. Recently we finished off Chapter 19 – Law of Mind Action. This really gets down to dealing with self trust and how, if we want to change our lives, we need to change our thoughts.

The study helps bring attention to areas we may not otherwise delve into. I’ve been bothered by how I’ve reacted to life and began this year with the intention to, in a way, start things over. Hence the blog – 2010: Being Again.

I’ve come to realize that a lack of self trust can be the biggest obstacle we need to overcome in personal efforts to find the happiness and success we want in life. Paying attention to how we make decisions and what we think can increase awareness of our self trust and help us focus on making needed changes.

Exploring self trust

Adventures on the Quest challenges readers to explore areas of self trust. Three exercises included:

1. Think of your earliest thought about a life-changing experience. Perhaps it was a decision to marry someone or to get a divorce. Maybe it was a decision to change a job or to have a child. Describe how that thought led to your eventual action. Be as detailed as you can.
2. Are you facing a decision now? Write down your thoughts about it.
3. Will these thoughts lead you where you want to go? Explain how they will or will not.

This is the kind of stuff few of us, and by that I mean me, ever undertake. Blissfully, we go through life perhaps not living up to our potential and wondering what’s holding us back. At least, that’s the case for me. What are we listening to? What is impacting our thoughts and, subsequently, our self trust as well as trust in others.

The chapter talks about the impact of the thoughts and messages that bombard us every day. Think about commercials on TV and the radio, and ads on billboards and in newspapers and magazine. All are attempts to influence how you think. And don’t you think that this can affect your self trust? I’d say yup! You betcha!

4. What commercials or advertisement do you disagree with? Name three and list the reasons you disagree with them. For example, maybe you don’t like being told that you must smoke a cigarette or drink a certain beverage to be sophisticated.
5. What popular thinking to you agree or disagree with and why? Perhaps you agree with popular thought about economic good times or bad times. You may agree or disagree with the implications of the news media that we live in a dangerous world.
6. Think about your life. What is your dominant thought about yourself? Write it out.
7. What major shift in your thinking is needed at this point in your life? Be specific in your details.
   

Our thoughts determine our self trust

How we think and what we think of ourselves gets right to the heart of the self trust Stephen Covey talks about. Without that self trust, the first pebble in the pond, the other ripples necessary to reach societal trust can’t happen.

Learn to trust yourself. If that’s an issue for you, how do you overcome it?

Picking up on Covey’s teachings, sometimes we develop a lack of self trust because we make promises we fail to keep. Think about New Years resolutions. How often do people make a decision at the beginning of the year only to see their determination quickly slip away, often before Valentine’s Day?

Hey, wait a moment. That’s me in the mirror! Those resolutions slip sliding away are mine. So, what’s the result?

Repeat it a few times and perhaps subconsciously we begin registering the fact that we can’t even trust ourselves to live up to our own self promises.

Without self trust, the ripples do not expand out to the other waves that need to wash over society and bring about needed change. So, what can we do? Take action to begin growing self trust. Simple steps are the best. Something to which you can commit.

Maybe you’re looking to lose some weight. (Yup, that’s still me in the mirror. Just more of me than I'd like there to be!) How about a promise to walk every day? Live up to that promise if you haven’t before. Prove to yourself that you can be trusted. It’s a small step. But it’s a beginning on which you can build.

So join me. Take that small step. Build your own self trust and let the ripples start to spread.

Next: Self trust. Without it people can come within reach of a dream or goal only to let it slip away. Three Feet from Gold explores the lives of people who had enough self trust to over come obstacles and challenges to attain their goals. Also: A few days ago I shared a special lesson on Facebook - ((P+T) x A x A) + F = ??? I'll share the solution in the next blog entry; the final in this series of three about self trust.

Photos: Adventures on the Quest asks readers to think about their lives and consider what is the framework around which they fill in the details. Think of it like a sculptor who creates a metal frame and fills in the details with clay. What is the key framework for you? The photos capture my framework. Lynda and I took our grandson, JC, down to Indian Battle Park in Lethbridge on Sunday. I’m with the woman I love on multiple levels, she is my best friend, we’re enjoying nature and sharing it with our grandson, thus helping him to appreciate it, too. Top: Lynda and I in a self-portrait at the park. Next: Lynda and JC at the base of Lethbridge's High Level Bridge. Next: JC and I take a look at a garter snake I spotted off to the side of the path. Bottom: Close up of the snake. JC liked him almost as much as I did!

2010: Begin Again - Speed of Trust

“If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself.” – Bob Dylan, Trust Yourself

I think that any success in life has its roots in trust. Trust in others, trust in organizations, and trust in yourself. Trust in yourself is the most important as far as I’m concerned, so right on Mr. Dylan.

In the last couple of days, my life has seen a convergence of elements that all seem to speak to trust. The first, and most publicly obvious, was the Wednesday morning presentation by Stephen M. R. Covey to the employees and students of Lethbridge College.

Covey popped by the college for part of what had to be a very busy 48 hours for him; a presentation Tuesday night to college supporters, one at a Wednesday morning breakfast seminar for local business people, then a wrap up session at the college. Kudos to Mr. Covey for energy! And kudos for a great message, too.

He was sharing concepts from his book, The Speed of Trust – The One Thing that Changes Everything. If you don’t have the book, you might want to get a copy. Well, I guess only if you have contact in some fashion with other human beings. If you don’t, I wouldn’t worry about it.

There was a ton of information in Covey’s presentation and even more in the book. Essentially, he makes the case for trust being about much more than just a social virtue. It’s not just a warm, fuzzy feeling we can have for each other. Covey talks about three big ideas:

1. Trust is an economic driver, not merely a social virtue.
2. Trust is the #1 competency of leadership needed today.
3. Trust is a learnable skill.

Trust has an enormous impact on society. Right now, trust in business is at an all-time low. Gee, I wonder why? Just take a look at the last couple of years and what’s been happening in big business. (Sidenote: That’s one reason why you should be considering a small business of your own in this economy!)

Organizations, businesses and government are all lacking a trust factor. And the costs can be huge. Investing in building honest trust, not something manipulative as demonstrated by those who talk it, but don’t really walk it, is vital for economic recovery.

As a quick example, Covey talks about a Trust Tax and a Trust Dividend. The tax shows when trust is down in a company. Speed or production follows it down while resulting costs can spiral up. The dividend shows when the opposite happens. An increase in trust sees a rise in speed and a decrease in cost. Companies that fail to invest in their people and in building trust in them ultimately pay a cost. A lack of trust can be a prime motivator for your top people to bail on your company and go elsewhere.

Character and Competence

The two sides of trust are character and competence. If both aren’t present in some balance, there will be a lack to trust. Think of people you know or work situations you have experienced. Almost all of us can think of people who’ve had good character, but lacked competence. They can be likable, fun to be around, great people to know. But if they lack competence, trust in them will falter.

Something I’ve seen more of over the years is the opposite – people with competence, but no character. Oh, they know what they’re doing, but they don’t show any real empathy for others. People don’t matter to them. Perhaps they see people as pawns to be used to reach a goal. Sometimes they’ll say or do the right things, but even then it’s more manipulative than sincere. They actually think only of themselves and what they want. Try to have trust in that scenario.

The Five Waves of Trust

The last thing I’ll share from Covey’s presentation is the flow of trust. Covey talked about the Five Waves of Trust. The visual is a drop of water falling into pool and causing ripples to flow out. Each ripple represents another level in the flow of trust. The Five Waves are:

1. Self trust. (See, Bob Dylan and I are on the save wave-length!)
2. Relationship trust. Your trust in others grows. You begin to form ‘trust accounts.’
3. Organizational trust. This starts to examine how leadership can create trust in different organizations.
4. Market trust. Earlier ripples start to build and reputation becomes strong. It’s your organization’s brand . . . and your own personal brand. People are now trusting it.
5. Societal trust. By this point, we are giving our earned trust back to others and, in a way, coming full circle as our growing trust of others inspires greater self trust and begins the wave all over again.

I have not done Stephen Covey justice with this brief review. If you are in business, whether a traditional retail or self-employed in a home business, or if you are employed by someone else, building an open and honest trust in your relationships among those with whom you interact is a vital key to success. Get the book and see how you can improve your trust factor.

Photo: Stephen M. R. Covey

Next in 2010: Begin Again

I’ll take a look at the second of the converging elements affecting my thoughts right now – The Quest: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery, Chapter 19 – Law of Mind Action and how I believe what we think impacts the very first step in the Five Waves of Trust.