Is it All About the Money?

Friday was amazing. Day off from work. Sun shining. Temperatures at that perfect not-to-hot, not-too-cold stage. Max and I exploring around Nicholas Sheran lake in West Lethbridge. That’s when it hit me. It really doesn’t get much better than this. And then I thought about Michael Taylor’s show on Unity.fm this week with the subject “Is It All About the Money?”

Why that show? Simple. If that is the lifestyle I’d like, meaning having time off when I want to do what I want whenever I want, it will take money. If I have a goal to achieve that lifestyle, is that all about the money?

Michael Taylor’s show is part of his effort to create a new paradigm of masculinity. Too many men find their justification for being in things, money and the career. But our real purpose lies within and many men are completely out of touch with what’s important. Michael talked about his own struggle with a desire to be rich and how he was constantly pursuing investments and business opportunities until he reached a point where he questioned what he was doing with his life.

Is it really all about the money? No. Not that there’s anything wrong with acquiring it. But that shouldn’t be the sole purpose or goal.

I can relate to Michael’s story about his early struggles with money. I’ve pursued more than one opportunity for the potential income, not for a deeper purpose. Why would I do that? Being unhappy with a job situation and some financial struggles were usually the key factors. I could pursue an opportunity strictly for monetary reasons and not because it touched something deeper within me.

If you’ve ever tried this, you know it often leads to an unsuccessful venture.

But what if the pursuit of the goal, in my case the desire to have more independence and freedom in life, actually lines up a truth that is at the core of your being? In other words, what if you are pursuing something that has meaning for you on a deeper level? Something you really believe in.

Hmmmmm. Maybe then your financial gain and how you define yourself as a person isn’t all about the money. The money is just a side benefit.

Something to think about.

Photos from Friday at Nicholas Sheran: Top - Yellow-headed blackbird. Top right - Red-winged blackbird. Above - Max looking proud while sitting on rock.

Shawna Sings the Blues

I have this amazing friend. Her name is Shawna Romolliwa. I’ve known Shawna for maybe five or six years. We don’t hang out or anything, but we’re still friends. I still get a heartfelt hug when we meet. As if her beauty, intelligence and compassion weren’t enough, she also has this incredible voice.

Many of my friends in Lethbridge know Shawna and can attest to her amazing singing talent. If you do not live in southern Alberta, I feel sorry for you. You are living a life deprived of a great musical experience. Just check out The Shawna Romolliwa Band.

The first time I heard Shawna sing, I thought of her style and voice as a cross between Sade and Enya. That’s all changed since she started singing blues. Now there is a raw, edgy sexiness to her music. When you go to The Shawna Romolliwa Band, click on Hound Dog. You’ll never think of Elvis again.

This afternoon I was listening to a ’70s station at work and a particular song came on. Suddenly, I realized that, in fact, Shawna’s style now reminds me of someone else who has a raw, edgy sexiness. That’s the amazing Tina Turner. Tina rocks. If you think today’s cookie-cutter fabricated ‘stars’ are hot, let this video open your eyes to what was happening way back when. And that ain’t no lame-ass lip synching, kiddies! Would love to see today’s pop tarts tackle this kind of energy and still have something left for singing rather than mouthing the words while they prance around.

I don’t know if Shawna will read this, but if so, I hope she also checks out the Tina video. I hear her vocals now; I think she could do a kick-ass version of Proud Mary. In fact, I’d love to see her band take it on. Not an exact copy, but adapted to her own style.

I can just imagine this rockin' The Slice some night, and I bet some of my Lethbridge friends and picture it, too!

Sure, The Shawna Romolliwa band plays the blues. Maybe this doesn’t fit exactly. But it’s a powerful song that requires a powerful voice and a singer with real stage presence to pull it off.

I think Shawna could do it and I’d love to see it.

2010: Begin Again - Springtime, chocolate and true colours

I know many people in Alberta are wishing spring would begin again . . . and stick around rather than letting winter cling to us with its icy fingers. Mark Twain is credited with saying, “everyone complains about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it.” Ain’t that the truth! Still, it’s hard to be frustrated with it. Especially when the wind chimes we put out for spring look more like Christmas ornaments!

Wellness Week

Despite days that look more like the beginning of December than May, there is still plenty to appreciate. For me, I’ve been enjoying Wellness Week at the college. There have been some excellent workshops to attend and I’m practicing the college form of ‘jean therapy.’ So far I’ve worn a couple of pairs of Calvin Klein’s and my favourite black pair. I still have a pair of Tommy Hilfiger’s and Pepe 73’s to get me through the week.

Today I took part in the chocolate tasting session. Oh, and don’t you be thinking this was just a bunch of people sitting around noshing on O Henry bars or a big box of bon-bons. Dr. Jennifer Davis (sorry if I have the spelling wrong, my bad) scheduled us in between her classes at the college to share her extensive knowledge about chocolate. Jennifer used to have a chocolate business and she really knows her stuff. Chocolate tasting can be as sophisticated as wine tasting . . . but without the alcohol.

After a brief discussion of the benefits of eating chocolate – and please note we are talking about high quality, real chocolate; not stuff you’d buy at the gas bar while paying for your fill-up – we got down to the sampling. Health benefits? Oh, yes, indeed. Dark chocolate is loaded with flavonoids – antioxidants that help maintain heart and circulatory health among other things. It can also help lower bad cholesterol levels.

Tasting the chocolate was enjoyable, to say the least. Jennifer had us try six different chocolates from the Michel Cluizel company of Paris. This included Maralumi Milk, Maralumi Dark, Mangaro Noir, Concepcion, Los Ancones and Vila Gracinda. The selection pretty much covered the world, coming from Papau New Guinea, Madagascar, Venezuela and Santa Domingo. It really was like a wine tasting. Each sense was involved. We smelled the chocolate, looked at it, snapped into pieces and tasted it – letting it melt on the tongue, please, no chewing allowed.

We recorded our perceptions of its fragrance and taste in much the same way as you would wine. But we didn’t have to spit it out, as in a wine tasting! Jennifer provided us with a list of descriptions often used for chocolate . . . and wine. We could note a chocolate had hints of berry fragrance, or leather, or tobacco and so on. Tastes were also considered in this fashion. With some chocolate, the taste was on the tongue and gone as fast as it melted. Others lingered on the palate. Flavours evolved as the chocolate melted. It was quite extraordinary to experience. Usually I snarf down chocolate to fast to appreciate it. Of course, it’s rare that I would have some of such high quality.

It was an educational and enjoyable session.

On Monday I took in the True Colours session offered by Judy Frank, the chair of counseling services on campus. Judy is always great in her presentations and this was no exception.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to learn about the True Colours method of classifying personality types, you owe it to yourself to check it out. If you interact with people at all, this will help you understand why we don’t always see eye-to-eye and to be more effective in your communications and relationships.

Each participant in the session received a Keys to Personal Success booklet with four cards in it. The cards featured different images on the front with backgrounds in blue, green, gold and orange. Judy had us arrange the cards in order based on how the images appealed to us. Then we turned the cards over and read the descriptions on the back. We could then rearrange the cards in order of the descriptions we felt suited us.

In the booklet we then rated the images from 4 down to 1 in order of preference. Rating a series of word clusters listed under each colour provided more information about our personality preferences. When all was said and down, we had a better understanding of ourselves and how we interact with others most effectively.

Adding up the scores, my preference has me as a Blue followed extremely closely by Green. So, what does that mean? As a Blue, value authenticity and honesty above all other characteristics. I possess a strong spirituality in my nature. I like to cultivate the potential in myself and in others. I am idealistic, sincere and a nurturer. I enjoy doing thoughtful things for others, I’m affectionate, supportive and a good listener.

With Green being so strong – only one point less than Blue – I also feel good about myself when solving problems. I seek knowledge and understanding and live life by my own standard. I value intelligence, insight, fairness and justice. This means I’m also a natural non-conformist, a visionary and a problem solver.

So there you have it. I think that’s fairly accurate, but I would leave it up to those who know be best to agree or disagree.

And that’s what’s been cool in my life so far this week.

Photo: One of our wind chimes looking remarkably like a Christmas decoration! Taken on May 5, 2010.

2010: Begin Again - Finding meaning in strife

So you think you've got it rough . . .

In the 21st century it seems many of us are still pondering the meaning of life. It’s a spiritual conundrum whose answer can confound the best of intensions. As part of spiritual journey, I have borrowed an amazing book from a friend of mine. “Man’s Search for Meaning” was written by Viktor E. Frankl. If anyone can question the meaning of life, it’s Frankl. He writes from the perspective of a man who survived the horrors of Nazi concentration camps.

I’m only halfway through the book, but I’ve found his insights captivating. He’s not writing from some airy-fairy perspective. He addresses things based on questions he and other raised while being starved, beaten, forced to work in winter weather wearing nothing more than rags. It was an existence that destroyed individuality and any belief or hope in a future.

From his experiences Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, developed logotherapy, a form of psychotherapy. The last half of the book is dedicated to an examination of logotherapy. I’m looking forward to reading that part, but I’ve already been impressed.

Frankl addresses how some prisoners gave up on life while others were able to find meaning in the struggle to survive. What follows is a brief quote from the book that really speaks to the meaning of life.

“Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks, which it constantly sets for each individual.

“These tasks, and therefore the meaning of life, differ from man to man, and from moment to moment. Thus it is impossible to define the meaning of life in a general way. Questions about the meaning of life can never be answered by sweeping statements. ‘Life’ does not mean something vague, but something very real and concrete, just as life’s tasks are also very real and concrete. They form man’s destiny, which is different and unique for each individual. No man and no destiny can be compared with any other man or any other destiny.”

When we think we have it tough, Frankl brings the reality of true challenge to light.

See you next time.

Photo: Viktor E. Frankl - 1905-1997

2010: Begin Again Replay + Fashion for Fun

2010: Begin Again - First Period Analysis

As the first period comes to a close, it’s time for Coach’s Corner and an assessment of how the game’s going so far. It started January 1, 2010 with the idea of skipping the resolution and shooting for the revolution. Make it a make-over year with big changes. How’s it going?

Ups and downs usually accompany all projects. That’s OK as long as you keep getting back up after the down! So, here’s a quick score.

Blogging. I started with the intent to blog something everyday. Well, that didn’t last longer than a couple of weeks. I think I started feeling that to blog I needed something important to say. And that’s not what I wanted. My first thought was to simply blog for the discipline of it. Writing everyday would keep me writing. That’s what I should be doing.

Can’t say I’m going to blog everyday, but I am going to commit to it on a more regular basis. Sharing small things, ideas and some favourite quotes.

Health. Another up and down. Shed some pounds early on, but gained it back. You see, I have a problem. I love food! Good food. Bad food. Almost any food. Some people like art that stimulates the visual senses. Some love music that teases and pleases the auditory sense. Me? I like to tantalize my taste buds! It’s my downfall.

But having released weight early in the year, I do know I can do it. So for the next two periods of this game, it’s back to playing defence. I am also committing to taking up Nordic, or pole, walking. Yes, walking with what looks like cross-country ski poles customized for a snowless landscape. It provides an almost total body workout. Getting active and watching what I eat will see the shedding of weight that will be healthy for me.

Spirituality. He shoots. He scores! One of the big things for me this year was spiritual growth. I feel growth in this area has been tremendous. I’m working through The Quest with my friend Darren. This exploration from Unity Church is an eye-opener for anyone who thinks the study of spirituality is going to be boring. The chapters and associated work book are challenging. If you don’t have an open mind to new concepts, it may not be for you. But if you’re willing to consider new ideas and seriously examine your beliefs, find a copy of The Quest, hook up with a friend or two and prepare for the ride.

I’ve also been listening to Conversations with God on CD, reading different books and taking in some outstanding information sessions online. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be a church or group that provides just what I’m looking for in a spiritual home. The traditional Christian approach to spirituality is not for me. I’m a New Thought kind of guy. Until I get something started in Lethbridge, I have returned to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. Their kind of open acceptance of different beliefs suits me fine for now.

Finally, there’s finances. Moving to a different position at the college helped save my sanity and you can’t put a price on that. But the accompanying reduction in salary is a challenge. I do need to get serious about supplementing my income. I have been researching options and I’m confident of a positive road ahead. So I’m counting this one as an assist if not a goal.

Two more periods to go in the game this year. The second period wraps up at the end of August and the third on Dec. 31. It’ll be interesting to see how the game shapes up. Stay tuned.



We’re All Victims of Fashion
First, name the song from which I lifted the line above and the group that sang it. There’s the challenge.

I’m used to being the only guy in a room of women. Just ask my former colleagues at work. At one time I was the only guy working with nine women in the Advancement Office at Lethbridge College. Today I was among the few who braved the Spring Tea and Fashion show held at the Legion by the Ladies Auxiliary. There were a couple of reasons to attend.

First, Lynda and Kelsea volunteered to model clothes. When your wife and daughter are both taking part, going to support them is the right thing to do. Second, I thought it would be nice to take my mother-in-law, Sharon, to the event. After all, she’d want to support her daughter and granddaughter. Kelsea’s boyfriend, Taylor, also came in support of Kelsea. Whadda guy!

The strawberry shortcake was tasty. There were lots of give aways. And Lynda and Kelsea got to model some nice clothes. In fact, Lynda ended up buying one of the outfits for herself, and one of the dresses for Kelsea. All in all, a good day!

Photos: Top left, Lynda with Kelsea, who is wearing the dress we bought for her after the show. Top right, Kelsea relaxing after the show. Above left, Lynda in the brown suit she purchased. Above right, Kelsea with Dennis, who played the bagpipes at the show.

2010: Begin Again - Scams, risks and the Book of Jobs

"Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition." - Steve Jobs (below)


Well, roll me in marinara sauce and slap me with a wet noodle! I cannot believe how much time has passed since I last blogged. And regular blogging is one of my goals for the 2010: Begin Again project. So let’s get back to it . . . and begin again.

First - Happy birthday!
John Charles Bly – JC to his friends and family – turned three this weekend. Yup. My grandson is three years old. It was a simple get together with grandparents, great grandma and his Aunt Kelsea. Some fun gifts and some tasty potluck. It was a good Sunday afternoon.

Sometimes you need to take a chance

A few days ago I received an e-mail from a friend who was interested in an offer included in a newsletter she receives on a regular basis. She asked my opinion, for which I am flattered, as she’s seen some claims that the offer is a scam. Part of my 2010: Begin Again project involves developing a home-based business for many reasons. (I should write about those some time.) As a result, I’ve looked at a lot of things and done a more-than-average amount of research.

Here is my reply to my friend.

This is similar to many things I've looked at. Part of my challenge is I receive so many newsletters and info pieces now that I'm suffering from 'analysis paralysis'. At some point, I need to focus on something and move with it.

As to this offer, do I think it's a scam? That might depend on a person's expectations. I do not believe it's an out-and-out scam to separate people from their money without offering something of value. Without actually seeing the information, I'm guessing it does what it says it will do, but I suspect some people may read into the offer more than what is actually there.

Perhaps it generates higher expectations than it can deliver for those who see it as offering more than it does. In such a case, the person receiving it may perceive it as a scam. But as long as it actually does what it says, even if not to the level some would hope, I would not classify it as a scam.

While it's true there are a million and one scams out there, I think it is also true that there are as many cynics. Some of them will try something half-heartedly, expect great outcomes for little effort, and then be ticked off when they fail and feel a need to blame someone. So they'll claim they were scammed.

Others have claimed something is a scam because the creator of the offer is providing information you could get for free if you did your own research. I don't consider that a scam, though. Sure, maybe you can find it elsewhere if you take the time to do the investigating. But what is your time worth to you?

Suppose you're salary equals $26/hour. What if it takes you 20 hours to gather, research and understand something that can increase your income? If your time is worth $26/hour, that would have been worth $520 to you. If you can pay $175 for that same info, would it be worth it? Is it a scam if someone is selling that info for $175? To me, no.

So what is a scam to one person may not be to another.

During the past couple of weeks I've been reading and watching things that are driving home the point that maybe it's time to leave the comfort zone, step out and take bold action. Here are a couple of things that have been inspiring me.

Highlights from You Were Born Rich, by Bob Proctor. Chap. 7, The Risk Takers.

... just consider the monumental risks which all of our great religious leaders have undertaken during the course of their heroic lives. Then stop and reflect upon the enormous risks which all of our great business leaders have also undertaken, during the span of their illustrious careers. Finally, as you seriously meditate upon these stupendous accomplishments, you will become increasingly aware of the fact that you too must become a risk-taker for you to develop the greatness you were worn with.

For the life of anyone who chooses to live with extreme caution will never amount to anything more than a succession of dull, soporific days, continuing on, without interruption.

You should be aware that as you start engaging in more risk-taking behaviour, the majority of people will be trying to avoid it 'at all costs.'

If we only cast our minds back to the formative years of our own lives, we will soon recognize where this reluctance to engage in risk-taking behaviour has its source.

You too can become a bona fide risk-taker . . . simply by doing the things you have dreamed about - off and on - for months, or possibly even years.

If the truth were to be known, you would dearly love to execute the dream

The simple truth is you can. But in all likelihood, it is going to require a considerable amount of courage on your part.

Begin to visualize yourself as a risk-taker and then start telling yourself you are one.

So even if you should lose everything you own, you still retain the capacity to bounce back, to try once again.

Check out the book to see the entire chapter.

Highlights from Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford commencement speech.
When he was 17, Steve Jobs heard a verse, something like: "If you live each day as it if were your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."

Look in the mirror each morning and ask yourself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" If the answer is 'no' too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked, there is no reason not to follow your heart. (Note: This address came a year after Jobs was diagnosed with a form of pancreatic cancer that could be treated. So he's faced the real thing.)

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it and that’s how it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

• Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
• Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
• Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.
• And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Check out Steve Jobs for the actual speech. It is great content and will be the best 15 minutes of your day.

Conclusion
2010: Begin Again is really about recognizing the boundaries of our personal comfort zones. Real change can only come when we push at those boundaries and expand beyond our self-imposed limitations. Bob Proctor offers insights into personal greatness. In his speech, Steve Jobs touches on the importance of not letting others necessarily influence you and keep you from following your heart. J.C. is a three-year-old who still finds delight and wonder in the world. What causes you delight and wonder in your life? Perhaps you need to pursue it.

In Memory of George Harper

Feelings of melancholy and contentment mix together as I contemplate George Harper’s transition from the earth-bound to the spiritual realm.

Melancholy because those of us left behind will miss his presence in our lives. Contentment because I believe what we perceive as death liberates spirit to return to original source – that which we often call God.

George, my father-in-law, passed away during the early evening of Monday, March 15, surrounded by family members. He had been battling cancer for the past year, finally succumbing to the wear and tear on his body in his final few days with us.

It is not the final few days I will remember. It is all of the years that came before.

I met George Harper when I was a scrawny 18-year-old in hot pursuit of his 16-year-old daughter, Lynda. Back then, the Harper clan was living in a smallish house on 19th Street North here in Lethbridge. I think the first time I saw him, he was in jeans and a white T-shirt and he was working on his big, old brown Ford LTD.

He reminded me of some guy from out of a movie set in the 1950s.

I, of course, thought he was an old man – the father of the girl I was interested in. Looking back it’s a little disconcerting to realize he was younger then than I am now. And not by just a couple of years. He was about a decade younger than my current age.

George was military through and through. He believed in discipline in the family and rules for acceptable behaviour in his house. And his children are all better off for that.

Yes, there was no doubt as to who was the boss of the Harper household. That would be Sharon, of course, but she graciously allowed George to feel like he was in control.

It may seem incongruent, but the man who could seem so stern at times was also like a little boy who enjoyed a good joke, or even a bad one, and trust me, George told some real stinkers in his time. He re-introduced me to the ‘wet-willy’ – not exactly an endearing experience, but he got a chuckle out of it.

He passed this somewhat juvenile prank along to his daughter, Lynda, who now regularly torments Walter Wilson with it at the Legion.

I suspect George’s love of pranks stayed with him to the end. Sharon’s sister, Joyce, and her husband, also a George, came from Castlegar, B.C. to visit at the palliative care unit on what was to be George Harper’s last weekend in this physical existence.

With little obvious change in his condition by Monday morning, they thought it best to head home to Castlegar. But I believe George was really setting up for one last prank on his sister-in-law. No sooner would they have reached home, and George’s spirit thought ‘ha, got you, again,’ and he made his final exit forcing Joyce and George to repack and prepare to head back in the direction from which they’d just come.

Joyce, I hope you will consider it George Harper’s parting gift to you – sort of a ‘wet-willy’ from beyond.

Having met George when I did, I was privileged to know him for close to half of his life. And I know him as a self-made man. That’s a term we often use when referring to someone who has acquired a lot of money and build a considerable estate. But it is also a term that definitely applies to the man we remember today.

George lived life on his own terms. Make no mistake about it.
Perhaps he was not what many would consider wealthy in material ways, but he certainly was in the things that really count in life.

Through his military career George served our nation with honour and with pride. Long before Canada had troops in Afghanistan or Bosnia, we had peacekeepers in Cyprus serving to keep animosities between Greek and Turkish residents in check. George was among the Canadians who helped keep the peace.

After retiring from the military, his support for our troops never waivered. He was steadfast in his commitment to the Royal Canadian Legion in general and to the local General Stewart Branch #4 in particular, and I know he is privileged to have Gabriel’s Angels and representatives of the Ladies’ Auxiliary here today.

Coming from a military family myself, I can deeply appreciate his years of service. Few non-military people can truly understand the dedication it takes to commit to that career.

New postings would always create upheaval in the family with lots of packing, unpacking, saying goodbye to friends and having to make new ones. And there could be lots of time spent apart from loved ones during military exercises and on special tours of duty.

It takes an exceptional wife and family to support such a life and I know George counted his family as his real riches. My mother-in-law Sharon and her children Lynda, Diana, Brenda and David are his greatest treasures. I’m blessed to count them as my family and George as my father-in-law.

I cannot say rest in peace, George, for I know you have only left the here-and-now to begin a new adventure on another plane of existence. Until we do meet again, I can say blessings and godspeed. We will all catch up to you some day and once again savour our time together.